Top 5 Movies of the Past 5 Years

For as long as I’ve been blogging, one of my favorite yearly traditions has been counting down my top ten films of the year. Rest assured that article is on its way, but before we get to that, I want to give you guys something special. See, I’m very proud of those articles, but sadly, they’ve all been lost over the years. So, I’ve decided, instead of re-writing them all, I’m going to condense them down to a single article. So before we countdown the best of 2016, let’s take a look back of the great films of the past half-decade. This is the Top Five Films of the Last Five Years.

2012

In the six years I’ve been doing these list, 2012 was definitely the strangest. I mean, this was the year we got a movie about President Lincoln fighting vampires for Pete’s sake The list saw a film from the Twilight Saga and a low budget direct to DVD film by an obscure internet critic share spots with huge blockbusters like The Avengers and Django unchained. However, I think the strangest thing about 2012 was the film that managed to make its way to number 1.

5. The #1 Movie of 2012: Ted

I should probably mention right off the bat that the criteria for making my list has less to do with the overall quality of the film (though that is certainly a factor) but rather how much I personally enjoyed the film as an experience. So, naturally, my number one film of any given year is the one that I had the most fun watching, and in 2012, that film was Ted.

From Seth McFarlane, the man behind Family Guy, comes a cute little stoner comedy about a boy who made a magic wish to bring his Teddy Bear to life. Miraculously, his wish comes true, and twenty something years later, John Bennett (played by Mark Wahlberg) and his talking Teddy Bear, Ted (voiced by McFarlane himself) are still the best of friends, even if said friendship is seriously interfering with John’s love life.

Going into this movie, I had high hopes. I really enjoyed the early seasons of Family Guy and was really hoping to see McFarlane produce quality work again. Fortunately, Ted more than lived up to my expectations, as I’m hard pressed to find a film I laughed at harder when I saw it in theatres. McFarlane was great of course, but the real star in my mind is Mark Wahlberg. When I saw him in The Other Guys, I knew that he had a real future in comedy, and I’m glad he continued that trend in his career while still being able to make great serious films like Lone Survivor. I also appreciated the many references to the 1980’s Flash Gordon film, even going to far as to have Flash Gordon himself, Sam Jones, appear in the film, theme song and all. While the film is a laugh riot, it actually does have its fair share of heart-felt moments as well. Would it make the top of my list if I saw it today? Maybe not, but it still holds a special place in my heart.

2014

A lot of things changed for me in the year 2014. Specifically, I got my first real full time job. As such, I found myself with the time and money to get to the movies every week, allowing me to see more movies than I normally would in previous years. As a result, 2014 was the first time my list truly felt complete. Movie wise, 2014 was a pretty solid year. We had some great musical biopics like Get on Up and Jersey Boys. Chris Rock surprised everyone with one of the most smart and original comedies in years with top five. Keanu Reeves gave us an even bigger surprise with one of the best action movies I’ve ever seen with the runner up that year, John Wick, and Godzilla, the king of the monsters made his triumphant return to the silver screen for the first time in ten years. It was a good year, top to bottom. But I think the eventual number one of that year was cemented in it’s spot from the moment I saw the trailer.

4. The #1 Movie of 2014: Guardians of the Galaxy

While many a film from the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been worthy of a spot on the list, this one is unique in that it is the only one to have ever climbed its way to the top, and with good reason.

Adapting one of Marvel’s lesser known properties, Guardians of the Galaxy tells the story of a rag tag group of misfits traveling through space and trying to save the universe from total destruction. Said misfits include Starlord (played by Chris Pratt), a human abducted by aliens as a child with a quick wit and an obsession with 70’s music, Gamora (played by Zoe Saldana, a green-skinned assassin, Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper), a talking space-raccoon with a chip on his shoulder and a knack for technology, Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel), a powerful but kind-hearted walking tree who’s vocabulary is limited to the words “I” “am” and “Groot”, exclusively in that order, and last but not least, Drax, a single minded muscle-head obsessed with revenge and no concept of metaphor.

I’m kind of shocked that this film ended up this low on the list, but I suppose it makes a certain kind of sense. The plot of Guardians is fairly by the numbers. However, what put Guardians of the Galaxy at the number one spot, in addition to it’s rocking soundtrack, wasn’t it’s story, but rather the strength of its characters. In fact, the same can be said about a lot of MCU films. These characters are fun to watch and work off each other really well. Really, when it came down to it, no matter what I saw in 2014, this movie was always going to be number one.

2013

I was not entirely satisfied with my list for 2013. For example, I put Thor: The Dark World on my list that year and while I like that movie fine, in a better year, I doubt it would even have been in the conversation, never mind on the final list. Still, 2013 did manage to produce a few solid gems. There was the resurgence of the Kaiju genre with Pacific Rim, a clever magical heist film in Now you See me, and perhaps the most surprising of all, the amazingly well done and enjoyable Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters which came in at number two. I wasn’t really expecting my eventual number one to be as good as it was, but I’m glad I was able to call it my number one film of 2013.

3. The #1 Movie of 2013: Don Jon

If it hadn’t been for my number one film for 2016, this film would have been the most surprising number one entry out of all my lists. What I mean is, all other movies on this list were films that had been heavily advertised and I knew that I’d more than likely end up enjoying them. Don Jon on the other hand was just a flick I saw with my dad one day for fun that took me completely by surprise.

Jon Martello (played by Joseph Gordon Levitt who also wrote and directed the film) is your typical New Jersey guy who loves his family, his church, his friends, his body, his pad, his ride, and most importantly, his porn. That’s right, Jon is a porn addict, but so what, it’s not that big a deal right. Well, it is when he meets his new girlfriend (played by Scarlett Johansson) and she’s not okay with Jon’s lifestyle. Despite having the setup of your typical romantic comedy, Don Jon is anything but typical. The film actually does treat Jon’s addiction as a serious issue but manages to put a clever spin on it, the details of which I’ll let you discover for yourself. However, more than the smart and well-written plot, the best parts of this movie were the parts where John was just going through his everyday routine. There’s a few scenes where we see Jon in confessional where the priest will tell him to say ten our fathers for his sins and in the very next scene he’ll be at the gym reciting the lord’s prayer between dumbbell repetitions. I could barely hold back the laughter. I’d always liked Joseph Gordon Levitt, but this was the film that really cemented him as one of my favorite actors working today.

2011

Ah, where it all began. 2011 was the year where I started this whole blogging thing and I barely knew what I was doing. If you ask me now, I’d barely be able to remember half of the movies I put on the list, nor do I wish to hunt down one of my embarrassing early articles to find out. However, all that aside, 2011 gave me a wonderful gift towards the end of it’s run and that very gift made it to the top of my list that year.

2. The #1 Movie of 2011: The Muppets

I love the Muppets. I have loved the Muppets since I was three years old and I continue to love them to this day. There’s just something about characters like Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzy Bear and Gonzo the Great that withstand the test of time and can be just as entertaining to adults as they are to kids. So, when it was announced that there was going to be a new Muppet movie in 2011, I was naturally excited, and when I saw the film, it didn’t disappoint.

It’s been years since Kermit and the gang performed on stage and everyone seems to have gone their separate ways, but right now, if they want to save the Muppet Theatre, they’re going to have to see if they still have what it takes to entertain the crowd. Much like Guardians of the Galaxy, the plot to this movie isn’t especially important. Rather, the strength of the film is directly correlated with the strength of its characters, perhaps moreso than Guardians as these are characters who have been around for decades and have only gotten better with age.

Out of all the movies on this little list, I think this is the one that I watch the most. I was especially happy when my four-year-old nephew started learning the songs, meaning that yet another generation will be able to enjoy the Muppets as I have. There was one part of the film that really holds a special place in my heart. There’s a song early in the film called Pictures in my Head. The song has Kermit walking down a hall of portraits while singing a sorrowful melody about how much he misses the old gang. As the song goes on, the portraits come to life and start singing with him. At the end of the song, Kermit goes to a covered portrait at the end of the hall and lifts up the cover to reveal Miss Piggy. Right then, I could no longer help myself, and I started to cry. There I was, twenty-two years old, crying my eyes out over the Muppets. But then, that’s just a testament to how much these characters have meant to me over the years as well as how great a job this movie did at reminding me of that.

2015

Last year was a good year for movies. Nay, last year was a great year for movies. We saw a great original Sci-Fi film in Ex Machina as well as a great original horror film in Krampus. We got some great biopics on such figures as James “Whitey” Bolger and the rap group N.W.A. with Black Mass and Straight Outta Compton respectively. New life was breathed into both the Star Wars and Rocky franchises while the Mad Max franchise completely overshadowed it’s predecessors with the phenomenal and unforgettable Fury Road. But for yours truly, when it came time to make the final list, there was only one choice.

1. The #1 Movie of 2015: Kingsman: The Secret Service

Let me start this out by telling you a little story. I first went to see this movie with a group of friends. While I was buying some popcorn, I was under the impression that my friend was buying our tickets. When driving home from the theatre, I tried to pay him back, only to learn that he hadn’t paid for my ticket at all and that I had inadvertently seen the movie for free. Ordinarily in that situation, I’d just let it slide and be happy that I got away with seeing a movie for free, but Kingsman was so mind-blowingly incredible that I refused to cheat it out of the money it so richly deserved. To that end, and this is true, I went back to that same theatre, gave them the money that I would have paid for the first ticket and then proceeded to watch the movie two more times. That is the power of Kingsman.

In a film that serves as a love letter to the James Bond franchise, Kingsman centers around Eggsy Unwin (played by Taron Egerton), an English street kid with a great deal of untapped potential who becomes the protégé of Harry Hart, aka Gallahad, (played by Colin Firth) a spy for the Kingsman organization. As Eggsy trains to be a Kingsman, trouble is brewing as eccentric billionare, Richmond Valentine (played by Samuel L. Jackson) is setting into motion a plan to purge humanity, allowing only the elite to survive, and only the Kingsman can stop him.

This movie is simply amazing. Every second, every scene, every line has something special in it. Colin Firth does a great job as both the cool action hero as well as the mentor to young Eggsy. He fits the role of the James Bond archetype without being an overt knock off of James Bond, it’s very impressive. The best scene in the film involves Firth investigating a Church full of racist homophobic bigots. Half way through the sermon, he gets up to leave, only to have a woman ask where he’s going. The line that follows has become my response to anyone who says anything bigoted in my presence. I’m a Catholic whore currently engaged in congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic, so hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon.

Firth then goes on to massacre everyone in the church as a result of Valentine’s experiment in a scene that puts nearly all other action scenes that have come before or since to shame.

Out of all the movies on this list, this is the only one to have actually made it onto my official list of favorite movies (an article for another day perhaps) and I don’t see it moving from that spot any time soon.

And that does it for our little look at the past five years. Coming soon, we’ll be taking a look at the best of 2016. Stay tuned to the sight and check it out.