Deep Dive Disney: Wes Reimagines Descendants 2

Well, last time we discussed a sub-par movie that was full of pirates, sloppy writing and blatant sequel bating. Today, we’re more or less doing the same as we’re once again discussing Descendants. But, as you know, this is not going to be like our typical analyses. This is a reimagining of the story in order to make something better. Have I succeeded in that endeavor, no idea because I never get any damn feedback from you people, but I’m pressing on anyway because, well… I got nothing better to do. Today, we’re going to be reimagining the 2017 sequel to Descendants. While the first movie was kind of a hot mess, this one is... a slightly more enjoyable hot mess. I would actually say it’s my favorite in the franchise, for whatever that means. I’m still going to be making a lot of changes, in fact, I’ll be making more drastic changes to this one than I did to the last one. Speaking of, if you missed my first Descendants reimagining, I’ll leave a link here but if you don’t feel like all that reading, here’s the general gist. In this version, instead of the villains essentially being prisoners on an island, they have their own Kingdom, The Valley of the Lost, equal in power to Auradon. The Disney characters are here in this realm as the result of a war between two uncaring godlike beings, one of pure light, one of pure darkness. There’s also a place called The Wasteland, a savage place that's home to deadly and animalistic creatures, I.E. the hyenas from The Lion King, the Wolves from Beauty & The Beast etc. The two kingdoms were in a state of uneasy truce until Ben ascended the throne and decreed that four villain kids would attend Auradon prep as part of his campaign to improve relations between the two kingdoms. Our heroes were tasked by their parents to steal an artifact called The Dark Talisman to summon the evil entity, but the more they got to know the so-called enemies of their parents, the more they realized that Auradon wasn’t so bad after all and chose to side against Maleficent when she stole the talisman for herself. It was then that Maleficent dropped the bombshell that she was actually Aurora’s true mother and one sappy speech later, Maleficent went back to the Valley, swearing that if King Ben allowed any harm to come to Mal, she’d be back, but the general vibe was that she’d basically leave Auradon alone otherwise. I left out a few details, but you have that link up there if you need to fill in the blanks. We gotta get this show on the road. Let’s continue this new path as we reimagine, Descendants 2.

So, here’s where we’re at since the first movie. Our four VK’s have all become fully accepted by their peers in Auradon and are pretty much loving life. And yes, this includes Mal. None of that “Oh, I’m not good enough for my boyfriend or this fancy kingdom” nonsense. Mal and Ben love each other and that’s made clear from moment one. I know that that whole thing drove the plot of the second movie, but I have a plan. As for the others, Evie is still designing Mal’s dress for the upcoming cotillion, Carlos is still trying to ask out Jane and Jay is still trying to help Lonnie on the fencing team. That last one is getting a minor change. Instead of Lonnie trying out for the team and being kept off because she’s a girl, which was incredibly dumb. Here, Lonnie is already on the team, she’s just a potential candidate to become the next captain and Chad is giving her a hard time about that because she’s a woman and he’s a sexist asshole. Also, Jay and Lonnie are officially an item at this point. Couldn’t tell you why they never did that in the original, but I’m doing it now. The only one having a hard time with things is Audrey, who’s still adjusting to the fact that she’s actually Maleficent’s granddaughter. She basically feels like her whole life has been a lie and while she puts up her usual façade, she’s become detached and unsure where she belongs. Not helping this is Mal jokingly referring to herself as Auntie Mal in her presence. As far as the Valley goes, since the Maleficent incident from the last movie, things between Auradon and The Valley of the Lost have improved greatly. Maleficent maintains good relations for the sake of her family and Jafar, Evil Queen and Cruella back her for the sake of their own kids. However, not everyone is fully on board with the plan, and a lot of the valley kids that Ben invites to join him in Auradon straight up refuse his offer.

Ben: I don't understand why I can’t reach them

Mal: Obviously they don’t trust you. They think you’re some hoity toity goody-two-shoes king trying to take them out of their homes. The kids from the valley aren’t like Auradon kids, they’re not going to be convinced by the promise of tea parties and goodness lessons. Ben: What about you and the others? Mal: We only came here to steal an evil artifact and help my mom destroy the world. Sure, we grew to like it here, but we wouldn’t have come if we weren’t forced to by our parents. Ben: Well Mal, you’re going to be a lady of the court soon, I’ll be relying on you for advice. Got any suggestions.

Mal: Me, Evie, Jay, Carlos, we all learned how to live in your world, maybe it’s high time you learned how to live in ours. Naturally, this leads to Ben making a big announcement. Four students from Auradon Prep will be attending school in the Valley of the Lost as Ambassadors of good will. As expected, Belle, Beast, Fairy Godmother and all the other adult Disney characters raise several concerns, but Ben is committed to his plan, even if he may not realize what he’s getting himself into. The students who volunteer for the program are, Ben himself, Jane, Lonnie, and to the surprise of everyone Audrey. And of course, Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos will be coming along to keep the Auradon kids safe and show them how to survive in the valley.

As news of the Auradon Kids coming to the Valley is announced on television, this is where we meet Uma, Harry & Gil, the children of Ursula, Hook and Gaston and leaders of a pirate gang that operates out of the darkest corner of the Valley. In addition to the original three from the movie, we’ll be adding two main members of Uma’s gang. First is Dizzy Tremaine, Daughter of Drizzella Tremaine. She was in the movie, but we’re going to be expanding on her role a little bit here. She’s still a talented hairdresser, but she’s just fallen in with a bad crowd. Our other character will be one entirely of my own design, the son of Shan-Yu from Mulan, we’ll call him Shane. Much like his father, Shane is big and imposing and typically acts as Uma’s muscle. While he won’t admit it, he’s got a bit of a soft spot for Dizzy in a big-brother kind of way. In any case, the scene at Ursula’s restaurant, which in this version is changed to Gaston’s tavern, plays out in a similar fashion to how it did in the original, only Uma’s motivation goes beyond just being bitter that she was left behind. This time, Uma has a plan to kidnap Ben and the others as step one of a plan to take over Auradon for herself and do what her mother never could. It’s here where get the song “What’s My Name” which just so happens to be my favorite original song in the franchise.

Instead of a Limo, our heroes head to The Valley in a royal horse-drawn carriage, a little low tech for this setting, but it’s important for what I’m trying to do. Along the way, the Carriage stops on the borders of the Wasteland where a pack of Wolves and Hyenas snarl at them from the shadows.

Wolf: Blood of True Evil… Master needs Blood of True Evil

Hyena: The Wastelands will rise and the Kingdoms shall fall

Wolf: Master, Wants YOU!

The Wolves and Hyenas snap and growl at our heroes but don’t actually attack. It’s not made clear exactly who the "You" the beasts were referring to is but Mal and Audrey both seem shaken by it, though Audrey keeps it to herself. After pressing on a little further, our heroes arrive in the Valley of the Lost.

As our eight heroes settle into their rooms at Eastern Valley Institute of Learning (Yes, I know the Acronym is a bit on the nose, but I couldn’t resist) one thing is absolutely clear, this place is everything that Auradon Prep is not. While Auradon Prep was clean, pleasant and inviting, E.V.I.L. is a dump. The so-called dorm rooms are glorified jail cells, the cafeteria serves brown slop that is only edible in theory and Jane even complains about seeing rats. Apparently one of them was wearing a Top Hat and a Cape because I had to get Ratigan in this somehow. Things aren’t any better once classes start. Our heroes are introduced early on to Uma’s gang, who are also students at E.V.I.L. and the atmosphere is antagonistic right away. Uma and Mal’s rivalry is the same as it was in the original, things between Gil and Ben are obviously not great due to the fact that Gil’s dad tried to kill Ben’s dad and marry his mom. Harry, being the creepy weirdo that he is, hits on a very uncomfortable Jane, which makes Carlos want to kick his ass. Evie and Dizzy’s close relationship from the original is hinted at but here, after Evie left to go to Auradon, little Dizzy felt betrayed by her surrogate big sister and fell in with a bad crowd so there’s plenty of resentment there. As for Shane, he and Jay are long-time rivals and that’s only made worse when Shane sees Jay dating the daughter of his father’s nemesis.

Things get worse when we meet the faculty, which is naturally comprised of classic Disney Villains. In a nod to the series The Emperor’s New School, the Principle of E.V.I.L. is none other than Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove. She gives the new students an expectedly cold reception and from here along with with a welcoming speech that's equal parts sinister and hilarious in true Yzma fashion. From here we can get really creative with the Disney Villain cameos. You could have Gaston as a gym teacher, The Evil Queen teaching chemistry, Frollo teaching history, Jafar teaching evil sorcery, Oogie Boogie teaching kids how to gamble, the possibilities are endless. Hell, you could even set this to a montage complete with a new song. What I hope to accomplish during this segment of the film is to have the AK’s experience the reverse of what the VK’s went through in our first Descendants re-write. Overtime, each meets the villain of their respective franchise and learns how their lives have been affected by the hero’s actions. Apparently, Lady Tremaine marrying one of her daughters to the prince was her one chance to free her family from the brink of poverty, but thanks to the actions of fairy godmother, the family is barely scraping by, with Dizzy now essentially having picked up where Cinderella left off as the Tremaine family scapegoat. Shan-Yu and Gaston were made into laughing stocks by their humiliating defeats and take that out on their children.

This tension comes to a head when Ben tries out for the wrestling team, and, of course, Ben and Gil end up going one on one and while Gil is tough like his dad, Ben completely schools him. Coach Gaston naturally chews his boy out for losing, but Gil is actually impressed by Ben’s skill and asks for a few pointers. Through this, the two bond and, over time, form an unlikely friendship. Jane and Lonnie go through similar arcs as well. Jane really enjoys Evil Queen’s chemistry class and thinks it might be fun to be a witch someday. As for Lonnie, she and Jay are having a blast learning how to gamble in Oogie Boogie’s class.

However, you may have noticed I haven’t said anything about Audrey in a while. Well, turns out Audrey feels just as uncomfortable here as shes's been on Auradon since finding out she’s Maleficent’s granddaughter. One night, she goes out for a walk to brood in some back alley somewhere when, under the light of the crescent moon, she runs into someone unexpected.

???: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

Out of nowhere, Audrey finds herself face to face with the one any only Cheshire Cat. As he talks, the Cat does his usual shtick of teleporting around, standing on his head, partially disappearing, the usual.

Audrey: Who are you? Cheshire: To quote my Caterpillar friend, the better question is, Who… Are… You? Audrey: I’m… not really sure any more.

Cheshire: You’re like me… you don’t belong anywhere, not sure if you’re coming or going. Not exactly feeling… all there, at the moment.

Audrey: I was supposed to be Queen of Auradon, now… I have nothing, except bad blood in my veins

Cheshire: Auradon lied to you, the valley rejected you, but I know a place where you’ll be welcomed.

Audrey suddenly notices that the alley they’re in is slowly filling up with wolves and hyenas.

Cheshire: The Master of the Wasteland says that soon, both Kingdoms will fall, all he needs is someone who can wield Maleficent’s staff. Someone… like you Audrey: This… this is crazy. Even if I wanted it, how would I even get the staff. Maleficent: Even Maleficent has to sleep…

The Cat vanishes, leaving Audrey with a lot to think about.

Now that the Auradon Kids have adjusted well to life in the valley and are even starting to enjoy their classes at E.V.I.L. Uma thinks it’s time to make her move. While Gil and some of the others who have bonded with our heroes have a few reservations, Uma and Harry are still dead set on their hostile takeover plan. That night, they kidnap Ben, Jane and Audrey and bring them to their pirate ship, Lonnie being the only one who manages to escape. The next day, Uma gives her big ultimatum on television to all of Auradon. Hand over the Dark Talisman in twenty-four hours, or the Auradon Kids die. Belle and Adam contact Mal and the others immediately. Adam suggests calling in the royal guards, but Mal thinks that might be overkill, besides she has a plan. Make a fake talisman for the exchange (without a 3D printer this time) and get out before Uma notices it’s a counterfeit.

The next morning, Ben and the others are tied up on Uma’s ship and like in the original, Ben and Uma have a moment.

Ben: Why are you doing this? Uma: All the villains in the Valley, they talk big, but the only thing they’re known for is getting beat by the heroes. I’m gonna do what my mom, what any of the villains here, could never do. I’m going to win! And the world will know my name. Ben: You don’t have to be your mom. Trust me, I know what it’s like living in my parents shadow. Everyone expects me to be this great king like my dad, but half the time, I have no idea what I’m even doing. You want the world to know your name? It still can. Help me make peace between our kingdoms and I promise your name will live on forever.

Uma considers Ben for a moment, but then dismisses him. Following this, we get more or less the same scene from the original. Hell, we can even include the rap battle, I actually thought that part was kind of fun. However, in this version, the exchange goes off without a hitch. However, as our heroes are trying to get away as fast as they can, they don’t notice that Audrey slips away. Uma and the pirates celebrate their apparent victory

Harry: Alright, let’s light this baby up!

Uma: It’s a fake Harry, Mal’s not dumb enough to hand over the real thing.

Harry: Then what was all that about!? Uma: Don’t worry, we’ll take the throne soon enough. Uma strokes her magic seashell necklace as we cut to the next scene.

Our heroes return to Auradon and here’s where all the subplots end up getting resolved. Carlos asks our Jane, Lonnie becomes Captain of the fencing team and everyone sits around talking about their feelings, albeit with some added stuff about how much the AK’s enjoyed their time at E.V.I.L. and how they’ve gained a newfound respect for Mal and the others.

After this, we get a brief scene of Audrey sneaking into Maleficent’s castle and stealing the staff, any obstacles she encounters being taken out by Wolves and Hyenas. She walks into a room, nervous but resolute, steals Maleficent’s staff and heads for the wasteland.

And now, it’s finally time for the cotillion, and like the original, it takes place on a huge cruise ship. Everything is going swimmingly until Ben reveals that Uma is his date. However, unlike in the original, it’s immediately obvious to Mal that Ben is under a spell. Ben announces that he plans to marry Uma, allowing Uma to rule Auradon, but Mal breaks the spell with True Love’s Kiss (Works Every Time). Like in the original, Uma takes the form of an enormous tentacle monster and Mal that of a giant dragon, however, this climax gets two major changes. First, we actually get the epic Kaiju battle between Dragon and Octopus we were only teased with in the first movie. Second, Uma did not come alone. The Jolly Roger with Harry at the helm pulls up alongside the cruise ship and it’s here where we get the git epic pirate battle. As Mal and Uma clash, Carlos tries to fight Harry one on one. Harry threatens Jane.

Carlos: Don’t you dare lay a hand on her! Harry: How about a Hook!?

Jane elbows Harry in the gut allowing Carlos to subdue him. Jay and Lonnie square off against the much larger Shane and use techniques they were studying in fencing practice to take the big thug down. Evie fights Dizzy but finds she has a tough time fighting back against someone she thinks of as a sister. Something similar is happening with Harry and Gil. They try to fight but think of the friendship they forged in the valley and just can’t think of a reason to keep fighting. Ben, Gil and Evie try to stop the fighting with a rousing speech about how they’re all the same and they don’t need to fight. This is enough to get most of the pirates to stand down, even Harry who still clearly wants to fight but realizes he’s outnumbered and just goes with the crowd. That just leaves Uma and Mal who are in the middle of their epic battle. Like in the original, Ben dives in the water between the quarreling monsters and manages to talk them both down. Uma and Mal stand down and Mal agrees that the only way to make real progress is to find common ground. Ben decrees that he’ll start negotiations to make Auradon Prep and Eastern Valley Institute of Learning Sister Schools, with students from either kingdom allowed to take courses at either school, a first step towards Ben’s goal the two kingdoms becoming one. Ben offers Uma the role of official liaison between the two kingdoms, which she accepts at Mal’s prompting. And like last time we end with a big old happy dance party… until Maleficent shows up. Mal: Mom? What are you doing here? Maleficent: My staff has been stolen, which puts us all in grave danger.

Evie: But I thought you were the only one who could use it? Maleficent: Me, or one of my Descendants Mal: … Audrey

That’s right, we’re ending on a cliffhanger, but we’re not quite done just yet. In a post credits scene, Audrey, staff in hand, finds herself in vast cave in the wastelands. The cave is filled with green smoke and a veritable army of wolves, hyenas and all other manner of savage beasts watch her as a voice speaks to her from the shadows

???: You’ve brought the staff

Audrey: I have

???: Are you prepared for what comes next Audrey: I have no love for the Valley, and I no longer belong in Auradon. I destroy both and rule whatever’s left. ???: Then I guess there’s only one thing to say

Out of the shadows walks the Master of the Wastelands we’ve been alluding to all this time, and it’s none other, than Scar!

Scar: Long Live the Queen

And that’s it for our rewrite of Descendants 2, I know that the original four didn’t get that much to do this time around, but ideally, the focus would shift more towards Ben and the four Auradon kids who head to the Valley in this version, give them some time to shine and adjust to a whole new world as well as set up a new threat that will force both sides to work together when the trilogy wraps up. If you liked this reinterpretation, let me know. We’ll get to the grand finale in due course, but next time, we’ll be finally be covering another animated film as Deep Dive Disney takes a look at Coco