Deep Dive Disney: Wes Ranks the Disney Princesses (7-1)

Well, we’re back. You all read the last article, you all know why we’re here, to rank the rest of the Disney Princesses. In the last article, I surprised no one by ranking Ariel as the absolute worst and probably pissed everyone off by placing Mulan in the bottom tier of the list. This time, we have seven more princesses to cover, so let’s waste no further time and get right into it.

7. Merida

Princess Merida, or as one could call her, Ariel done right. I went into this in great detail when we discussed Brave, but it bears repeating, Merida really is the same character as Ariel only better in almost every way. The film does a much better job of showing us that the life of a princess really does suck for Merida, so right from the jump, we already feel for her more than we felt for Ariel throughout her entire movie. However, we also show that Merida is very flawed. Actually, one of the things I praised about the character was how she is the only princess to genuinely feel like a real teenager. She can be selfish, bratty, rebellious and desperate to assert her independence. She probably isn’t even against getting married one day, she just wants to do so on her own terms. And while cursing her own mother was undoubtedly wrong, it also makes sense given her fragile mental state after her mother threw her bow in the fire. And unlike Ariel, Merida actually does go through an arc and learn from her experience. Plus, her one line in Ralph Breaks the Internet was one of the biggest laughs I got out of the movie so I’m awarding her bonus points.

6. Elsa

As I said last time, Elsa is a deeply fascinating character, so much so that she often overshadows her sister. The two Frozen movies really are a tale of two Elsas. The first movie shows an Elsa who is terrified of herself. Almost killing her own sister was an extraordinarily traumatic event for the young princess and since that day, she was told to suppress her emotions. To that end, she spent most of her life in exile, miserable, but safe in the knowledge that her loved ones were safe. When she’s finally exposed and doesn’t have to hide any more you can feel that elation that she’s finally free to be herself and it’s wonderful. By the time the second movie rolls around, Elsa has control over her powers, and is no longer feared by her people or herself. No longer is she a queen in self-imposed exile, she is a full-fledged member of the community. It’s everything she ever wanted… so now what? Elsa loves Arendelle and would do anything for her Kingdom, but she can’t help but want to go off on her own, explore the full extent of her powers and learn where they come from. The Show Yourself scene is such a great moment for her character as now she finally knows who she is and what she’s meant to do and the feeling is like nothing she’s ever felt before. Elsa is a phenomenal character and definitely one of the reasons that Frozen is one of Disney’s most profitable franchises.

5. Cinderella

You might be surprised to see Cinderella ranked so high on the list. One would think that she’d be down lower with Snow White and Aurora. That’s what I was expecting when I re-watched Cinderella for the first time since I was little when we reviewed it earlier this year. While those accursed mice made to want to pry out my own eardrums with a screwdriver, I was genuinely surprised by how much I liked Cinderella. While she’s not exactly a dynamo of personality, she still has a lot more going for her than Snow White and Aurora. Naturally, Cinderella is kind, virtuous and pure much like her contemporaries on this list, but it is also not lost on her that her existence is a living hell. She is constantly tormented by her vindictive stepmother but still puts on a happy face. She knows that if she allows her stepmother to break her spirit, then she wins, and she refuses to give her abuser the satisfaction. While she’s not off fighting invading hun armies, this still shows that Cinderella is a lot tougher than she looks, which is why it hits all the harder when she finally does break down and cry. Cinderella gets even more to do in her third movie when Lady Tremaine erases her happy ending and she has to fight to get it back. Cinderella is a surprisingly powerful and admirable character and more than deserving of the top five.

4. Rapunzel

Given the fact that Rapunzel has a multi-season TV-series under her belt in addition to her movie, she’s kind of coming into this with an unfair advantage. Yes, Jasmine and Ariel had those too but Jasmine wasn’t always the main character of her show and Ariel’s was a prequel meaning she still learns nothing. In Tangled, Rapunzel’s arc involves overcoming Mother Gothel’s twisted programming and discover her true self. I like that her bubbly optimism is powerful enough that it is even able to penetrate the hearts of hardened criminals like Flynn or the patrons of the snuggly Duckling. She’s also shown to be highly skilled at her multiple hobbies as well as deadly with a frying pan. In Tangled the Series, Rapunzel goes through even more. There are times where she has to deal with someone who simply doesn’t like her. She is forced to make difficult decisions for her kingdom when her parents are away, decisions that have lasting consequences throughout the show. She is forced to deal with betrayal, loss, hearbreak and so much more and she rises to the challenge every time. Seriously, Tangled the Series was on another level. I may give it a retrospective in the near future. For now, Rapunzel has everything it takes to top this list, the other three are just that much better.

3. Tiana

Right off the bat, I need to say this: If I were ranking the Princesses on singing ability alone, Tiana wins. Anika Noni Rose’s voice is just otherworldly and I can listen to her sing Almost There all day. Tiana is a great character. She isn’t just going to wait around for genies or fairy godmothers to make her dreams come true, she’s going to put in the work to make that dream come true herself. Tiana works three jobs to raise enough money to open her own restaurant, despite those around her constantly throwing obstacles in her way. However, something I appreciate about Tiana is how her arc shows that working too hard for a dream also has its downsides. Yes, Tiana’s work ethic is admirable. Hell, I wish I was able to find something I was passionate enough about to put in that kind of exhausting effort. However, Tiana spends so much time working towards her dream that she never stops to smell the roses. Hard work is important, but you still need to have a life of your own filled with love and family. I think that’s why I like Tiana and Naveen together. She shows Naveen the value of hard work and he shows her that it’s okay to loosen up once in a while. There’s something wonderful about that. And in the end, Tiana finds the balance in her life and gets everything she ever wanted and more.

2. Moana

A while back, I held a twitter poll tournament to determine who you all thought was the greatest Disney Princess of all time. Guess who won! Yes, it seems Disney’s latest Princess has captured the hearts of many and it’s not exactly difficult to see why. Moana is a wonderful character, drawn to the ocean from birth, but still putting that call to adventure aside for the sake of her people. She’s also shown to be really good at the whole leadership thing, showing that she’ll make a great village chief one day. When she journey’s beyond the reef, it’s not because she’s in love with some rando, it’s because exploring and adventuring is in her blood and reclaiming that birthright is the only way to save her people from certain destruction. She also is more than willing to admit she has no idea what she’s doing, but that doesn’t matter, she needs to do this, not just for her people, but for herself. To prove to herself that she was chosen by the ocean for a reason. Moana is a very likable character and she and Maui have incredible chemistry with one another. Also appreciated is the fact that her movie does away with any sort of love interest for Moana. She’s not trying to impress a man, she’s trying to save the world. Moana could have easily topped this list but there’s one more who beats her, and by process of elimination, you’ve already figured out who it is.

1. Belle

It’s really is astounding to me. Just a year ago, I would have trashed Beauty & The Beast left, right and center simply because I heard it mentioned. Now, following re-watching it for this retrospective, it’s become one of my absolute favorites and I agree that it’s one of Disney’s greatest masterpieces, and a lot of that is due to its protagonist, Belle. Belle is a very strong and powerful character, but her strength comes not from her skills with a bow or her mastery of magical ice powers. Her power comes simply from courage, patience and the ability to see good where others cannot. When we meet Belle, she is an outcast in her village. She’s always reading and seems to value intelligence over appearance, hence why she’s completely immune to the advances of Gaston, a man whom all the other women in her village are constantly swooning over. In essence Belle is not satisfied with the life she’s expected to live. She wants adventure like the heroes of her books. When her father is held captive by the Beast, she demonstrates true bravery and selflessness by sacrificing her own freedom for his. But even though she’s promised to stay with the Beast, she’s still not going to give him the satisfaction of allowing him to get what he wants out of her. I guess you can say that she took a page out of Cinderella’s book for that one. It’s only after The Beast saves her life that she begins to warm up to him and her kind influence helps The Beast rediscover his long-lost humanity. By the way, I already explained that Belle does not have Stockholm Syndrome in a previous article so we won’t be going into it here. Besides, it’s only after Beast releases Belle that she’s able to admit that she has feelings for him. Anyone can slay a monster with a sword, but it takes a very special person to slay a monster with love and understanding, revealing the true Beauty within. And for that, I proudly proclaim Belle to be, the greatest of the Disney Princesses.

And that should do it. I look forward to all you Disney nerds telling me how wrong I am. In the meantime, stay tuned for my next article as Deep Dive Disney enters a world of magic and adventure as we journey, Onward!