Deep Dive Disney: Wes Looks at Splash

Welcome everyone, to another Patreon funded article. This time around, we’re taking a look the film Splash starring Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah. Released by Disney under the Touchstone label, the studio Disney uses so they have plausible deniability in case their movie bombs, Splash tells us the story of Allen Bauer who, as a young boy, fell over the side of a cruise ship in Cape Cod and was saved by a young Mermaid. Years later, Allen is an adult who just can’t seem to make it work with the opposite sex due to a lack of confidence and an inability to say I love you. That all changes when Allen once again crosses paths with Madison, the Mermaid who saved him as a child. While Allen can’t ignore the fact that there’s something off about this strange woman who is constantly throwing herself at him, Allen still feels this inexplicable sense of comfort around her and over time the two fall in love. However, all is not well as a scientist obsessed with proving the existence of mermaids is hot on Madison’s trail. Now, I know what you all are thinking. A story about a Mermaid who comes up on dry land to seduce some guy she barely knows, that sounds a lot like The Little Mermaid, a film that I have been deriding on this blog for almost a full year now. Well, it may surprise you to learn that this movie came out in 1984, a full five years before The Little Mermaid even came out. Frankly, I feel that this is a significantly better movie than The Little Mermaid, meaning that Disney actually got it right five years before the release of that so-called “classic.” I swear, that movie just gets more and more useless the longer I write in this blog. In any case, why don’t we take a look at, Splash.

Main Character:

This time around, the role of main character is shared by our main couple, Allen and Madison. We’ll start with Allen. As we said at the top, Allen, who grew up to be the co-owner of his own wholesale fruit and vegetable business, has a hard time making it work with the opposite sex. A lot of this is due to the fact that Allen subconsciously longs for the instant connection he felt for the mysterious mermaid who saved his life, something that he’s since dismissed as a dream. Once he meets Madison, he finally feels that connection he’s been longing for his entire life, and he’s over the moon about it. Helping him as a character is the fact that Allen is played by one of the most likable actors in Hollywood, Tom Hanks. Hanks is awesome and he adds a lot of charm to Allen who would otherwise come across as a bit of a sad sack.

Then there’s Madison, played by the extremely talented Daryl Hannah. While she wasn’t quite up to the task of replacing Anjelica Huston as Mortica Addams (an impossible task even for the greatest actresses) Hannah does an excellent job playing a literal fish out of water. So here’s the million dollar question, what separates Madison from Ariel? Truth be told, the two characters are similar in many regards, but I think the reason Madison works and Ariel doesn’t has a lot to do with how little we actually know about Madison. With Ariel, we know just about everything about her before the plot even has a chance to get going, and we see her to be an immature and selfish moron guided by hormones and not much else. Madison on the other hand is a mystery. Apparently there was an abandoned subplot where Madison makes a deal with a sea witch to become human or something (sounds familiar doesn’t it), but it ended up on the cutting room floor, which I think was a wise decision. Madison is mysterious, but also fun, outgoing and naïve, which makes her quite entertaining and provides a nice contrast with the more grounded Allen. Despite Allen not knowing much about Madison, they actually have nice chemistry, even if most of that is Allen reacting as expected to her strange quirks. I think what I like most about Madison is her curiosity and fascination with her surroundings. I’ve discussed this sort of thing in the past, notably in my Little Mermaid Article, but I love the idea of a non-human being fascinated by the things we humans take for granted.

Villain:

Walter Kornbluth, played by Eugene Levy, serves as our antagonist this time around. As I said, he’s a scientist obsessed with proving his theory that mermaids are real. He’s certainly driven but never quite comes across as a real threat. In fact, him constantly getting beat up or horribly injured in his pursuit of Madison makes him come across a bit like a Looney Tunes villain more than anything else. Fun fact, when Butch Hartman was developing The Fairly Odd Parents, it was this guy who served as the inspiration for the villainous Denzel Crocker. Kornbluth is relentless in his pursuit of the mermaid and seriously needs to work on his social skills, but the more we learn about him, the more we realize he’s not such a bad guy. In fact, once he has his face turn and the generic dick head Dr. Ross takes over as the villain, he proves invaluable to helping Allen free Madison from the lab where she’s being held and later attempts to sacrifice himself to buy them some valuable time.

Side Characters:

Just one side character worth talking about here is Freddie, Allen’s brother and business partner played by the late great John Candy. Candy is hilarious in everything he does and Freddie here is no exception. His first scene has him getting out of the car with a stack full of nudey magazines in his hands. I wish we had more of that in Disney movies. Anywho, despite being a bit of a playboy, Freddie is a great brother and endlessly loyal to Allen and even going to great lengths to help him get laid. And, when Allen is questioning his relationship after Madison’s true nature is revealed, it’s Freddie who talks sense into him and convinces him to save the best thing that ever happened to him. What a great brother.

Splash is not a musical, but I do want to give a brief mention of Allen singing Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah after he meets Madison, only because unless one of my Patreon supporters decides to be VERY generous, this is the closest I'll ever come to covering Song of the South.

Memorable Scenes:

My favorite scene is probably when Allen and Madison see a mermaid fountain that’s always given Allen a sense of comfort. When Madison learns that the fountain is to be torn down and how sad that makes Allen, she buys it, selling her priceless necklace to do so, and has it brought to Allen’s bedroom. How they got the damn thing through the door is anyone’s guess, but the gesture is super sweet. It reminds me a lot of my favorite scene in Beauty & The Beast where Beast gives Belle the Library. Anyone can give someone flowers, but Madison here gives Allen something that she knows he specifically will appreciate, and I love it. It’s clear that while Madison may be naïve to the ways of the human world, but she has clearly come to understand Allen and is tuned into his wants and needs. For his part, Allen is naturally shocked by the gift, but still very appreciative.

Story:

So, Splash is a fairy tale romance masquerading as an 80’s rom com. As is, it honestly works very well. The humor is solid, the romance is adorable, the characters are fun. The Little Mermaid comparisons are inevitable, but truth be told, even though the films hit some similar beats, this is overall a much more enjoyable experience. The fact that they made Allen a fully fleshed out character instead of simply an object of desire helped a great deal. And also, the fact that the two have this preexisting connection makes the whole thing that much more romantic. I always got a sense that Mermaids in this Universe imprint on their future mates, which is what happened when Madison saw Allen for the first time. Something about what Madison feels for Allen and what he in turn feels for her somehow feels more real than Ariel and Eric ever did. It’s almost hard to believe that this movie predates The Little Mermaid as it almost feels like a direct response to it.

The Dark Disney Factor:

Okay, so as much as I’ve praised this movie throughout the article, I have some mixed feelings about the ending. Now, mind you, I like this way more than how it goes down in The Little Mermaid because unlike Ariel, who abandoned her family on a whim after selling her voice to an evil sea witch, Allen knew in that moment that living with Madison in the sea was the only way to save her and be with her and it was a now or never situation at the time. But still, he does still end up leaving his family without so much as a goodbye to live in a world he never knew for the rest of his life. Sure he followed his heart, but he doesn’t even get to say goodbye to his brother? That’s kind of messed up. Also, I hate to be like this but, Madison throwing herself at Allen constantly even though he doesn’t know her feels a tad rapey. Like, I know that Allen is receptive to it, but it’s still a person forcing herself on another. Not cool! There's a very good reason the planned gender flipped remake of this movie was scrapped.

Final Thoughts: And that was Splash. I enjoyed it. It was a fun little 80's comedy where a man falls in love with a Mermaid. If you're looking for a fun little movie to watch on date night, this one might be for you. I'd like to thank Rachel, the Parton who requested this, as well as Janey, Darla and Greg, my other Patrons. Reminder, if you want a say in future articles, you need only sign up for my Patreon. Seriously, it helps me a lot. Anywho, next time, we'll be counting down my Top 20 Disney Villain Songs. Until next time!