Deep Dive Disney: Wes Looks at Cinderella

Welcome back to another installment of Deep Dive Disney. Well we’ve reached Cinderella, and well, I gotta upfront about this. When I booted this one up on Disney+, I wasn’t exactly expecting The Lion King, but man, I was not expecting this one to inspire such vitriol within me. Why this is the case I hope will become clear over the course of this article, but suffice to say, we can safely add this one to the to the pile of “Never Watch Again.” It’s not Dumbo bad, but well… let’s just get to it. Out of all the movies we’ve covered thus far, this one has the largest gap between my most recent viewing and watching it for this article. I couldn’t have been older than three or four the last time I watched Cinderella. What that means is, more so than any other film we’ve covered thus far, I essentially went into this blind. So, for those of you who have been living under a rock since the BC days (Yeah, turns out this story dates back quite a ways) Cinderella is the story of a kind young maiden whose father took a woman with two daughters of her own as his second wife. When Cinderella’s father passed away, Cinderella’s stepmother showed her true colors and forced the young girl to dress in rags and do all the household chores, while her own daughters were spoiled to no end. You all know the rest of the story, the torn dress, the fairy godmother, the prince, the royal ball, the custom fit slipper, the whole shebang. The story had been told and retold thousands if not millions of time over the centuries before Disney ever got their hands on it. So, how does Disney’s interpretation, a version that many see as the definitive version of the story, hold up? Well.. let’s see.

Main Character:

I was fully prepared not to like Cinderella and call her a boiler plate generic Disney Princess. For the most part, that is actually true, but to her credit she actually does have a little more of a defined personality than our last Princess, Snow White. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Snow White, and she definitely seemed like a more likable character at first glance, but that’s mostly because she just had more likeable characters to play off of. It’s actually interesting to compare the two as their situations are remarkably similar. Both are forced into a life of drudgery by a wicked stepmother who hates their guts. Snow White is happy and sweet throughout the whole movie, seemingly content with her situation. While Cinderella is certainly kind-hearted, her smiling contentment is actually more of a façade to mask an inner pain. She’s well aware that the stepmother is trying to break her, and she refuses to give her the satisfaction. For that reason, one could argue that Cinderella is a much tougher character than one may think. Every waking hour of the day, Cinderella is put through hell and she smiles through it so as not to give her tormentor that victory. When the sisters tear her dress, it’s even more gut-wrenching than it would otherwise be because you knew that this was Cinderella’s one chance to finally feel free, and when she breaks down once the sisters leave, you can tell it’s a long time coming. I actually had a job not too long ago where my employers cut my hours below sustainability and worked me to the bone in the hopes that I’d quit and they wouldn’t have to pay benefits. So, I can honestly say, I related to Cinderella a lot in this movie. She’s not huge on personality or depth, but you still want to see her get what she wants after all she suffers through.

Villain:

Nasty, Nasty Woman. Those are the best words to describe the cold-hearted Lady Tremaine, Cinderella’s Stepmother. She is not a powerful force like the Evil Queen, but she is nonetheless power-hungry, desperate to marry her daughters off to royalty. And once she has power over Cinderella, she squeezes every last drop out of her simply because she’s can. She’s cold, manipulative and cruel, everything a great Disney villain should be. The stepsisters are also equally despicable, bullying their sister every chance they get, but it’s the mother who’s the real evil one. I would argue that she is truly incapable of love, caring only for good standing. Hell, half the time she’s seen stroking a cat like a James Bond villain. That’s evil right there. And while we’re on the subject, who in the hell names their cat “Lucifer?” Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I watched Cinderella III as well, a film that most people say is better than any direct-to-video Disney Sequel has any right to be. There, Lady Tremaine is shown as even more sinister, stealing the Fairy-Godmother’s wand and reversing time so that one of her sister’s ends up marrying the Prince instead. I actually haven’t decided if I’m doing the direct-to-video Disney Sequels or not. I certainly won’t be doing all of them because I’m not a masochist, but I think that one’s worth dissecting. In any case, there’s certainly a reason that Lady Tremaine is counted among the best of the worst.

Side Characters:

Surprisingly, there are quite a few characters to discuss here. Let’s start with The Prince. Remember when I said that Snow White had the most egregious example of the Disney Romance? Well, I stand corrected because at least Snow White and Prince Necrophiliac at least exchanged lines of dialogue before they decided they were in love. I was shocked because I remember the ball scene being a big deal, the centerpiece of the film, but virtually no fanfare is given to Cinderella’s first meeting with the prince. They kind of just see each other, start dancing and suddenly they’re in love. I guess dudes she barely knows with the personality of a fence post are her type but let’s just say I’m looking forward to when we get to characters like Aladdin and Prince Naveen.

The King and the Grand Duke are also given some presence. I do like that the king is a bit of a hot head who’s desperate to marry off his kid and the Grand Duke his doting lackey. It actually reminded me a little bit of the dynamic between Captain Hook and Mr. Smee, but we’ll get there when we get there.

I actually found The Fairy Godmother, brief though her appearance may have been to be my favorite in the film. She’s charming, a little absent minded and much like The Blue Fairy from Pinocchio, believes that kindness and selflessness should be rewarded. Oh, and if she sounds familiar, that’s Verna Felton again who played one of the mean girl Elephants in Dumbo and will be playing the Iconic Queen of Hearts in our next article.

So, if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably thinking, “Wes, you said you hated this movie but so far you’ve had mostly nice things to say about it. What is it about this movie that you find so objectionable?” Ladies, Gentleman and alternatively gendered individuals, I shall tell you what it is about this movie I find so objectionable. It has everything to do, with those GOD, DAMNED, MICE!!! I can’t believe what I’m about to say, but I take back every bad thing I ever said about the Gargyoles from Hunchback of Notre Dame. At least one of them was voiced by talented singer and comedian Jason Alexander. Best I can figure these plague rats are either voiced by a sped-up recording of Jar Jar Binks or a busted Alvin & The Chipmunks cassette tape. Either way, they’re annoying, very very annoying. Every time these little vermin were on screen I wanted to bash their little brains in with a hammer. It was so bad, I was actively rooting for the cat for most of the film. To make things worse, these little rats get more screen time than Cinderella herself, and none of it is the least bit interesting. I don’t care about them sewing a dress, evading the cat or whatever other mouse things they do. And they Never, Stop, Talking. No wonder Fairy Godmother was my favorite, she’s the only one who manages to shut them up by turning them into horses. So much was my hatred of these insipid rodents by the end of the film that I never wanted to see another talking mouse as long as I lived. If Mickey Mouse himself had knocked on my door with an all-expenses paid Disney Vacation to offer me and some Buffalo Wild Wings to celebrate, I Probably Would Have Shot Him! All because of those mice. When the film chooses to focus on its title character, it’s actually not so bad… but FUCK ME, those mice have single handedly ensured that this one belongs in the shit pile.

Songs:

I’ll be honest, I never much cared for “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.” It’s pretty and sung fine, when it’s NOT sung by those Blasted Mice, but it just doesn’t do it for me. It sounds a bit like every Disney Princess “Follow Your Dreams” song distilled to its blandest elements. That’s kind of the case for most of the songs really. They’re either not terribly interesting or ruined by those God Damned Rodents! The only exception is Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo, which is nothing to terribly special, but it’s still a lot of fun, impossibly catchy and it does help cement The Fairy Godmother as my favorite character. Fun fact for you Dragon Ball fans. This song actually inspired the name of the monstrous Majin Buu and the Evil Wizards that created him, Bibbidi and Babbidi. Bibbidi, Babbidi, Buu, get it. I always thought that was really clever.

Memorable Scenes:

One scene that especially sticks out in my head is the scene in which Cinderella’s dress is torn to shreds like the stepsisters. We touched on it briefly, but man, seeing Cinderella so excited to finally have some kind of happiness in her life, only to have it ripped away purely out of cruelty. Once her dreams are quite literally ripped away, all that strength, all that stoicism, all that façade of happiness that Cinderella was forced to put on in order to not be broken by her vindictive tormentor finally becomes too much to bear, and for the first time in the movie, she breaks down, weeping in utter pain. It was so well handled and really made you feel for the character.

Story:

There’s not much I have to say here. The story is fine for the most part. Cinderella was kind and hard-working and she deserved to have her dreams come true. It’s pretty standard fairy tale fair, but it’s presented competently. That is, when the MICE are not on screen.

The Dark Disney Factor:

Well, I suppose I can’t count the thoughts I had of Lucifer eviscerating the mice one by one, but I wanted to type that sentence anyway. Call it therapy. Truth be told, the Dark Disney Factor isn’t really present here so… here’s Lady Tremaine’s terrifying death glare.

Final Thoughts: There is a good movie in here somewhere, it’s just buried under a pile of torturously irritating singing rodents. I’m sorry, they really did ruin the film for me, even if the rest was decent, not great, but decent. Like I said at the top, this movie has been told and retold millions of times and while many consider this the definitive version, many better versions still exist out there. Next time, we venture further down the rabbit hole for a far better film, Alice in Wonderland.