Deep Dive Disney Christmas Special: Wes Looks at Beauty & The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

Merry Christmas everybody, and welcome to the first of two holiday themed articles, and it looks like we’ve got a lump of coal in our stocking to deal with. We’ve discussed the 1991 Disney classic Beauty & The Beast and many various reinterpretations thereof quite a bit by this point, and every time it comes up, I continue to emphasize how fantastic it truly is. Once it was a story I’d dismissed as a child and later would disparage unfairly, but after finally sitting down and analyzing it in depth, I’ve come to appreciate it for the masterpiece that it is. It was the first animated feature to ever be nominated for an academy award for best picture. It is in all likelihood the reason the award for best animated picture even exists and it is now one of my personal top 10 favorite Disney films of all time. The subject of today’s article… is not that. Instead, we are returning to the dark realms to the direct-to-video Disney sequels. We’ve touched on them before, but I was careful to only cover the ones I felt were decent enough to be worth discussing. We have barely scratched the surface and let loose the veritable waterfall of shit that lurks beneath. This movie in particular had the advantage of coming out in 1997, before social media was a thing and opinions circulated faster than Sonic the Hedgehog after downing a few hundred cans of monster energy drink, so people weren’t quite yet wise to the fact that these direct to video offerings were typically of poor quality. As such, you could be forgiven for thinking that this movie looked good on paper. Beauty & The Beast was still very popular at the time and Return of Jafar was a huge hit, so a sequel seemed like a great idea. The fact that it’s a Christmas movie theoretically implies seasonal re-watchability. Not to mention that the film promised new songs, a new adventure for these beloved characters, the return of the original voice cast with the addition of a few big names like Paul Reubens, Bernadette Peters and Tim freaking Curry! If one didn’t know better, they’d almost think that this sounds promising. Unfortunately, I do know better, and this was pretty much just an hour and fifteen minutes of ass. So, what is our story. Well, our film is set during Belle’s stay in Beast’s castle and it just so happens to be Christmas time. Belle thinks it would be fun to plan a Christmas party. However, The Beast is a bit of a Grinch who hates Christmas and wants nothing to do with it, mostly because the curse that turned him into a buffalo monster in a cape has been retconned to have happened on Christmas Eve. Anywho, the tension between Belle and Beast catches the attention of Forte, a living Pipe Organ who used to be the royal court composer. Forte has a vested interest in making sure that Belle and Beast never fall in love and seeing the curse remain unbroken for reasons which are too batshit to go into in the intro and as such, hatches an evil scheme to make sure this Christmas is Belle’s last. Well… let’s get through this so I can talk about the good Christmas movie I have on the schedule. This is Beauty & The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas.

Main Character:

*Sigh* Now this is just sad. They’re clearly trying to make Belle and Beast the same great characters they were in the original, but somehow failed miserably. Beast comes across as a blithering moron most of the time and the overly goofy animation doesn’t help his case. Beast in the original wasn’t always the smartest or nicest guy going but at least he wasn’t falling on his ass in the first five minutes or going around yelling “I hate Christmas” like he’s Oscar the goddamned Grouch!

However, that’s small potatoes compared to what they do to poor Belle in this movie. In the months since I first posted my Beauty & The Beast article, I’ve done extensive research to answer the question: does Belle have Stockholm Syndrome. I was pleased to learn that the Belle we saw in the original, in fact, did not have Stockholm syndrome. The Belle in this movie on the other hand, ABSOLUTELY has Stockholm Syndrome. Belle keeps talking about how she loves the Beast and just wants to make him happy. You might be thinking “No shit Wes, they’re in love, right?” Wrong! Beast certainly grew to love Belle over time, but Belle could not bring herself to love The Beast until after she was no longer his prisoner. Even if she did grow to care for Beast, the fact that she was his captive kept her from admitting that she may have had feelings for him. At the point in the timeline in which this movie took place, sure, Belle and Beast had grown closer, but Belle was still mostly just making the best of a bad situation and was deeply worried about her father and wished to go home. Speaking of, Maurice isn’t even mentioned in this movie. You’d think Belle would be a little bit sad that she’s spending Christmas the prisoner of a surly wolf-bear-man instead of with her father, but honestly, I’m not entirely convinced this is Belle. This is more like Ariel in a Brunette wig. It would certainly explain how the only woman in town who saw through Gaston’s bullshit doesn’t immediately smell bad guy all over the incredibly sinister Forte. If this is the case, I can at least take comfort that somewhere Belle is wearing a red wig, going to town on Prince Eric’s royal library and forcing the old boy to question the very creepy nature of his relationship. In any case, this movie does a great disservice to these two great characters. Next!

Villain:

If this movie has anything that could be considered a saving grace, it’s the villain of the piece, Forte, voiced by the always wonderful Tim Curry. Honestly, saving grace might be a bit of a stretch because the character isn’t actually all that engaging. The only thing that elevates the character above this movie’s lame mediocrity is Tim Curry’s performance. The guy is a pro and always brings his a-game to every performance and he imbues Forte with the proper amount of sinister menace that makes otherwise forgettable moments kind of awesome. Also, his infamous “I’m Bolted to the Wall” line became a minor internet meme Wait until you hear his motivation. Get this, Forte wants to break up Belle and Beast because he wants to remain an immortal pipe organ who has sway over the castle’s master who, now that he’s perpetually wallowing in his own self-pity, appreciates Forte’s brand of melancholy operettas. So… let me get this straight, Forte is willing to condemn himself to an eternity as metal pipe organ stuck on some wall because he gets off on his boss acting emo? What the hell even is this movie?

Side Characters:

Most of the original cast reprises their role which is nice I guess, but it’s also unfortunate since each and every one of them are too good for this movie. It also doesn’t help that Lumiere and Cogsworth’s bickering, which was funny in the first film, is insufferable here.

We also have a few new characters to discuss. First is a Christmas tree topper named Angelique who was once the castle decorator voiced by Bernadette Peters. She doesn’t really add or take away anything from the film other than to be the only significant character besides Lumiere to remember their French accent.

Next, there’s a piccolo named Fife voiced by Paul Reubens who acts as Forte’s incompetent lackey. Now, I love Paul Reubens, but the entire movie, I just wanted to snap this annoying little skin flute in half.

There’s an unnamed axe voiced by Jeff Bennett doing an inexplicable and probably offensive Yiddish accent. I don’t know why this is a thing, but I’m not happy that this is a thing.

We also get a good look at the Enchantress during a Flashback scene. Now, as much as I like the twisted tales version where the Enchantress is Belle's mother, the fact that the Enchantress is voiced by Kath Soucie in this movie makes me wonder if she's actually one of the weird sisters from Gargoyles.

Songs:

Ouch! The songs in this movie are abysmal. It’s sad to see such a downgrade after the original boasted one of the most iconic soundtracks in Disney, nay, FILM history. These songs are so lame I don’t even feel that they’re worth analyzing in greater detail. Not even a duet between Paige O’Hara and Bernadette Peters can save this soundtrack. And you know you’re in trouble when not even the Tim Curry villain song is any good. Come on, this is the guy who sand Toxic Love AND Sweet Transvestite, and you can’t give him something he can sink his teeth into. That’s just fucking sad. The best song in the movie is probably “A Cut Above The Rest” and even that one still sucks, just slightly less than the others. It’s a comedy argument song between Lumiere and Cogsworth that comes at the worst possible time for a comedy argument song. That’s right, the best song in the movie is the one thematically closest to A Guy Like You. Now that’s just pathetic.

Memorable Scenes:

There’s one scene in this movie that works. After Beast locks Belle in the castle dungeon for attempting to escape again (in reality a misunderstanding brought on by a manipulation on the part of Forte), Forte plays Emperor Palpatine and tries to get the Beast to give in fully to the dark side and destroy the rose, embracing his beastly nature forever. He almost does it until a single pedal falls on Belle’s Christmas gift for him. Turns out she wrote a story book for him and so moved is he by the thoughtful gift that it restores his Christmas spirit. It’s the one moment in the film that feels in keeping with the original and shows the positive influence that Belle has over Beast.

Story:

I don’t know, something about how Christmas is awesome and brings out the best in everyone or some schmaltzy bullshit like that. It’s a message that I can get from countless better movies than this one.

The Dark Disney Factor:

Okay, for as lousy as this movie is, it at least gets a pretty cool and dark climax. Belle and Beast have reconciled, Christmas is back on and it seems like everything is wrapped up in a nice little bow. That is until Forte goes for broke and decides that Belle and Beast can’t fall in love if they’re dead and starts playing so loudly that it starts literally destroying the castle and causing earthquakes. Beast fights Forte, who despite his lack of mobility, is pretty tough, especially because he comes equipped with, I swear to god, musical lasers! Eventually, the Beast just savagely rips out his keyboard, the equivalent of disemboweling a human being I imagine, and Forte falls over dead. I am glad that Beast eventually learned to control his temper, but it was still pretty cool to watch him fully Beast out on someone.

Final Thoughts: Picking this movie for my Christmas special was a mistake. I see that now. This movie was everything the more cynical Disney critics think that the original Beauty & The Beast is and yet somehow so much worse. But fret not my friends, because Christmas isn't over yet! For those of you lucky enough to be subscribed to my Patreon, I have a special treat in store because Deep Dive Disney will be taking a look at my favorite Christmas Movie, The Muppet Christmas Carol.