Deep Dive Demolition Man: Wes Looks at Demolition Man

Welcome everyone to… well, I can’t very well call it Deep Dive Disney this time, now can I. For those of you not keeping up with current events, in order to protest Disney management giving money to anti-LGBTQ legislation in Florida, many Disney employees are staging walkouts and many online Disney-related content creators are refraining from their regular activities in a show of solidarity. (If anyone is wondering, the Darby O'Gill article was written a month in advance and scheduled to go up on St. Patrick's Day.) As a Disney content creator myself, I’ve decided to use this as an opportunity to step outside of my wheelhouse and cover something so not Disney it hurts. Ladies, Gentlemen and others, let’s take a look at an early nineties sci-fi action shoot ‘em up starring Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes, that also just so happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time. My friends, this, is, Demolition Man, a truly brilliant film that both cleverly satirizes and unapologetically revels in the tropes of the action movie genre. So, what’s it all about? Well, in the not-too-distant future (or rather what was the future in 1993 but is now over 20 years in our past) we are introduced to John Spartan, played by the Italian Stallion himself, Sylvester Stallone. Spartan is very much the quintessential action movie cop, doing whatever it takes to get the bad guy, even if it leaves all manner of collateral damage in his wake, earning him the nickname “Demolition Man.” As our film opens, Spartan is in engaged in an epic battle with his nemesis, psychotic terrorist Simon Phoenix. After a an intense fight, Spartan finally apprehends Phoenix, but at the cost of the lives of several hostages, causing Spartan to be arrested himself on manslaughter charges, both he and Phoenix serving out their sentence by being frozen in an experimental cryo-prison. Forty years later and the world has seemingly become a utopia where crime and violence have all but been eliminated and everyone generally seems happy about life thanks to the guidance of their new leader, Raymond Cocteau. However, in reality, the world has become a fascist state in which anything deemed inappropriate or even remotely unhealthy, such as fried food, profanity and even physical contact, have been deemed unlawful and any who resist this new way of life are forced to live in the sewers and starve. In any case, when Simon Phoenix is accidentally unfrozen and unleashed upon the world, the police of this era are ill-equipped to combat his level of evil which leaves them with only one choice, unfreeze John Spartan to go after Phoenix himself. Put how can a man of the twentieth century survive in this strange new world? Well, let’s find out by taking a look at, Demolition Man!

Main Character:

As I said at the top, John Spartan is pretty much every action movie cop rolled into one. A loose cannon who will do whatever it takes to stop the bad guys, and if that means building or two needs to be destroyed so be it. I think Stallone was the perfect choice for Spartan. People tend to forget since he’s so associated with over the top action movie characters, with one of his signature roles, Rambo, having becoming something of a catch-all term for such characters, Stallone is actually a very smart guy and an incredible actor and likely understood that Spartan being that stereotypical action movie cliché is just surface level. Now, having gone the route of making Spartan an over the top action movie hero could have worked and might actually have been pretty funny, but the reason why John Spartan is a likable protagonist is that he actually does have a humanity to him. It’s not like he takes pride in the violence he engages in or the collateral damage he causes, it’s just what he has to do in order to stop men like Phoenix. Spartan is very much a fish out of water in this strange future and while he clearly hates what the world has become I appreciate that he never argues that things were better in his time. We don’t see much of the Los Angeles of Spartan’s era, but what we do see looks like a nightmarish wasteland where crime runs rampant. The world according to Cocteau may suck, but you’d have to be a special kind of asshole to argue that what Spartan left behind was much better. There’s this especially nice scene where Spartan’s partner, Huxley, someone who has romanticized the violence of the twentieth century via an obsession with 90’s action movies, praises Stallone for fighting off members of the underground resistance who were only stealing food they need to survive. Spartan rightfully tells her off for having such a positive attitude about violence, especially violence against desperate people just trying to survive. This shows two very important things. One, Spartan is a man who knows that what’s right and what’s lawful are not necessarily the same thing. It also shows that this is not a game to Spartan. This is someone who takes what he does very seriously and takes offense to someone treating it like something it’s not. He doesn’t see himself as an action hero, he’s a guy who does his job and does the best he can to stop the bad guys, and when the bad guys are as evil as Simon Phoenix, what it takes can often lead to a path of destruction. Overall, John Spartan is a solid action movie protagonist who has a lot more going for him than one may initially realize.

Villain:

There are actually two major antagonists in this film worth discussing. Let’s start with who I believe to be the true villain of this movie, Raymond Cocteau. Cocteau is the architect of this new world order as well as the inventor of the cryo-prisons that Spartan and Phoenix served as test subjects for. Cocteau is a fascist, outlawing anything he deems unworthy of his so-called perfect world, including unhealthy food, alcohol and even physical contact. Worse yet, all the radio stations play only commercial jingles. What’s especially sinister about all this is how, on the surface, his world actually does seem like an improvement over the one we have. People are happy, there’s virtually no crime and generally, everyone is polite and kind to one another. However, when you look closely, this world is actually a nightmare where your only choices are to live in the sewer and steal what you need to survive or live a life where you have no freedom of choice, and don’t even realize it because everything is telling you that this is the way the world is supposed to be. It’s later revealed that it was Cocteau who unleashed Simon Phoenix on the world in order to accomplish a specific goal. First, assassinate Edgar Friendly, the leader of the underground resistance and in doing so, creative widespread panic and chaos. See, at the moment, Cocteau’s new world order has limited influence, but if Simon Phoenix creates enough fear, Cocteau will have carte blanche to remake the world in his image and the world will just let him do it.

But fuck Cocteau, I want to talk about Simon Phoenix, played brilliantly by Wesley Snipes. While Cocteau represents the worst aspects of order, Phoenix is the worst aspects of chaos. I mean it folks, this could very well be the closest we ever have come or will come to having a black man play The Joker. Phoenix is a twisted amoral lunatic who will commit any act of unspeakable evil imaginable simply to amuse himself and he is loving every minute of it. Snipes is a delight in this movie who steals every scene he’s in. I’ve seen this movie dozens of times, but I almost always lost my shit the first time we seen him. Something about Wesley Snipes with bleach-blonde hair and Beetlejuice pants, snorting coke and threatening Spartan with a blowtorch just immediately tells you if this is your kind of movie or not. Phoenix doesn’t really seem to have any sort of motivation beyond causing chaos and destruction for the sake of his own enjoyment, which is honestly what makes him such a great foil for someone like Spartan. Remember, Spartan takes what he does very seriously. Naturally, someone like Phoenix, who seems to take absolutely nothing seriously, really pisses Spartan off. I love anytime they fight and Phoenix keeps needling Spartan to try and get under his skin. And of course, someone who loves chaos as much as Phoenix can’t really abide being Cocteau’s pawn, and so, after manipulating him into unfreezing him an army of other criminals, has Cocteau killed and plans on ruling the world and turning it into the wasteland that Los Angeles was back in his time. I do appreciate that irony that even someone as evil as Phoenix recognizes that Cocteau’s way of life is fundamentally wrong. As he puts it “You can’t take away people’s right to be assholes.” In any case, Simon Phoenix is a fun villain who we just don’t see any more outside of comic book movies and even then, they’re few and far between. Great job all around.

Side Characters:

There are a few side characters in this film worth discussing. For example, noted character actor Bob Gunton plays police captain George Earle. Captain Earle objected to unfreezing John Spartan and takes every opportunity to call him a knuckle-dragging grotesque. Bob Gunton is an actor you can bank on when you need someone to play a character you’re really supposed to not like, and the man is good at what he does.

The late Glenn Shadix is in this movie playing Cocteau’s toady. I’m sure this character has a name but for the life of me I can’t remember it and scarcely matters because I just kept calling him Otho throughout the whole movie and the characters mannerisms don’t exactly discourage that label.

Denis Leary, whose daughter I went to high school with, true story, plays Edgar Friendly, the leader of the underground resistance who opposes Cocteau’s order simply because he thinks for himself likes fatty food. He balances his comedic charm with dreary nature of his situation very nicely. It also helps that Leary is one of the undisputed masters of the angry rant. Just read this and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

See, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy. Cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind if guy who wants to sit in a greasy spoon and think, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I want to eat bacon, butter and buckets of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in a non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jello all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to. Okay, pal? I've seen the future, you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sittin' around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake singing "I'm an Oscar-Meyer Wiener". You wanna live on top, you gotta live Cocteau's way. What he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Your other choice: come down here, maybe starve to death.

I mean… that kind of just says it all, doesn’t it.

I saved the best for last though with Spartan’s partner, Lenina Huxley, played by academy award winning actress Sandra Bullock. Bullock is great in this role, especially considering this was very early on in her career. Lenina Huxley hits this impressive balance of someone who has clearly been raised in and has acclimated to Cocteau’s world but still romanticizes the more violent ways of the past, seeing it as exciting. Huxley generally seems to like the world she lives in but is clearly bored at her job. Can’t be too exciting to be a police officer in a world with virtually no crime. There’s just this wonderful energy to bullock’s performance. She comes across like an excited little kid most of the movie and her positive attitude nicely contrasts the more cynical Spartan. Also, her constantly misquoting stereotypical action movie lines is just one of many great running gags in this film.

Memorable Scenes:

So let’s talk about the three seashells. What are the three seashells? Well, you see, in the future it seems toilet paper has become obsolete and has been replaced with some elaborate system of wiping one’s ass with three seashells, something Spartan cannot make heads nor tails of. Many fans of this movie have spent decades speculating on how exactly the three seashells are supposed to work but no concrete answer has ever been revealed. Apparently, to this day, Sandra Bullock, Academy Award Winning Actress Sandra Bullock, is asked about the three seashells. It’s crazy what fans will fixate on. On top of this, there’s this great running gag where, every time someone utters a profanity, which, remember, are illegal in this future, they are fined for violation of the verbal morality statute and issued a ticket. This leads me back around to Spartan who cleverly finds a way around the three seashells by cursing like a sailor so he has enough tickets to use to wipe his ass. Absolutely brilliant. Also, there’s this other scene where we see Spartan’s exploits in the twentieth century and we see him being asked if it was worth it to destroy a seven-million-dollar mall to save a girl whose ransom was only twenty-five thousand dollars, to which the little girl who Spartan just saved responds “Fuck You Lady!” Not only does this further demonstrate Spartan’s mentality of valuing what’s right over what’s lawful, small children swearing is rarely not hilarious.

Story:

So, what is the overall message of Demolition Man. Well, in addition to playing around with action movie tropes, I think Demolition Man is a movie that warns against the danger of extremes. The world of Cocteau was a bland, soulless fascist state where even something as innocent as profanity is declared unlawful and those who resist are forced underground. This is the extreme of order. The world Simon Phoenix plans to create once he kills Cocteau would be a lawless wasteland where chaos and destruction reign supreme and people will likely have to fear for their lives from murderers and rapists on a daily basis. This is the extreme of chaos. These worlds are polar opposites but both sound like a nightmare. What is needed in order for the world to heal after Cocteau and Phoenix are dealt with is a compromise. A balance between order and chaos that keeps things from spinning out of control but also keeps things interesting from time to time. Many think Spartan’s line of “Oh, you’ll figure it out” at the end is kind of a cop out, but personally I like that this movie doesn’t offer any concrete solutions to the problem. It just takes people working together to build a future where everyone can feel safe and happy.

However, beyond that, there’s a few other things I’d like to discuss, if you’re one of those people who thinks The Simpsons predicts the future, you’re going to love this movie because it’s shocking how many much this movie got right. This movie predicted Arnold Schwarzenegger’s political career, Wesley Snipes’ tax evasion and even the advent of social distancing. I’m serious, no one in the future actually touches one another to high five or shake hands. If this movie were released today, it could be easy to read that as a holdover from COVID. Personally I’m holding out hope that every restaurant becoming Taco Bell comes to pass because I could go for a crunch wrap but don’t always feel like driving long distance.

All that having been said, I feel I should address the one uncomfortable scene in the film. See, physical contact is illegal in the future, so all sex is done through virtual reality helmets that I’m shocked haven’t resulted in an outbreak of seizures like that one episode of Pokemon. Spartan naturally doesn’t go for this and tries to kiss Huxley the old-fashioned way, something that makes her incredibly uncomfortable. Now, I don’t agree with physical contact being outlawed, but kissing without consent is still not cool. To his credit though, Spartan does later apologize by knitting Huxley a sweater (apparently the reeducation program they put in his cryo-tube made him a skilled seamstress), but the whole scene is just feels really icky to me.

The Dark Demolition Factor:

This feels weird. See, the whole point of this category was to point out moments in Disney films that were too dark or scary for the target audience, which usually consists of small children. However, since this is an R-rated action movie, there’s almost no point in pointing out all the dark and violent stuff because we’d be here all day. That having been said, I did want to point out one moment that’s especially gnarly. Shortly after Simon Phoenix is freed, he gouges out the eye of the prison warden and carries it around on a stick in order to get passed the retinal scans. That’s… pretty fucked up, even by his standards.

Final Thoughts:

I love this movie so god damn much. It gives me joy joy feelings whenever I watch it. It's a lot smarter than your typical action movie, but also never forgets what it is. The main character is fun and likable (the whole kissing scene notwithstanding), the villain is an absolute blast, the supporting cast is solid and the action and comedy are blended nicely. A real triumph of a movie that you all should go out and watch. Seriously, I barely scratched the surface in my analysis of just how great this movie is. It's an action film with a little something for everyone. Thank you all for joining me. Next time, we'll be back to business as usual with more Disney content. I wish those participating in the protest the best of luck and I urge those venting their frustrations online to remember that the Disney corporation is not a soulless fascist society like the world of Raymond Cocteau and that there are good people working within the company to influence change, so make sure your anger is directed at the specific individuals who deserve it. Until next time, this is Wes asking, just how do you use the three seashells?