Deep Dive DC: Wes Looks at Arkham Asylum: Living Hell Chapter 1

Welcome friends to a special series of articles covering one of my favorite Batman stories. This is Arkham Asylum: Living Hell, a story that asks the question: What If a common white collar criminal ended up in Arkham. However, I should mention “Batman Story” is a bit of a misnomer here. Batman is in this story, but he’s not exactly the main character, nor is he really all that important to the overall narrative. So, if Batman’s not our main character, who is? That would be Warren White, a scummy Bernie Madoff stand in whose ruthless and predatory business practices have earned him the nickname “The Great White Shark,” and right now, Warren is on trial for embezzling billions of dollars from innocent victims and is trying to weasel out of jail time with the insanity plea. What’s worse is, White, through either bribery or just really stupid jurors, it’s not made clear, has swayed the jury to vote in his favor. The judge sees right through Warren’s Bullshit and isn’t about to let him off the hook that easily. Warren is going to regret that insanity plea as the judge sentences White to a term of indefinite observation at Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

And so this capitalist scumbag is shipped off to Arkham alongside The Riddler, Scarecrow, Mad Hatter and a few other characters created specifically for this miniseries. We’ll be discussing those characters in detail as they become important.

Anywho, White is shown to his cell by a guard named Aaron Cash, who would go on to appear in the Arkham Asylum video games. Cash is a tough as nails prison guard sporting a nasty hook for a hand who seems to have nothing but contempt for White, which isn’t exactly hard given that he’s a massive prick. Thanks to some tax cutbacks, ironically caused by White himself, White doesn’t get a private cell and instead has to share one with an inmate who goes by the name Death Rattle, basically a Charles Manson Serial Killer/Cult Leader type who claims to be able to see ghosts. Given that this is The DC Universe, that’s not outside the realm of possibility. White, having heard about Death Rattle on the news, pleads with cash not to stick him in a cramped cell with a homicidal maniac, but Cash is having none of it, reminding him that while outside, he may have been a Great White Shark, in here, he’s just the new fish. Cash leaves as Warren bangs on the cell walls with the surrounding inmates ominously chanting “Fish.” Warren tries to set up his bunk, but Death Rattle stops him, saying that spot is reserved for the ghost of one of his murder victims, an eight year old girl named Molly. Not wanting to piss off the creepy child murder and end up getting shanked to death in his sleep, Warren spends the entire night wide awake and cowering in the corner.

Alright, so the first night in Arkham was a bit rough to say the least, but the next day in the shower, Warren reminds himself that he’s The Great White Shark, he always comes out on top. He can handle a house full of Wackos for a few weeks. However, just as he’s finishing his thought, Warren drops the soap… right at the feet of The Joker.

Oh Shit…

Actually, all Joker does is kindly pick up the soap for Warren. Well, that was nice of him. Joker does go on to say that he’s heard of Warren and thinks he’s the worst person he’s ever met. Joker may kill people, but at least he doesn’t steal their kid’s college funds. Damn, you have to be a real piece of shit if even The Joker thinks you’re the worst. After politely informing Warren that, if he ever felt so inclined, he could take a piss in Warren’s dead skull and make mint selling it on EBay, Joker leaves.

Well, that, as you can imagine, is the last straw for Warren as he pleads with his therapist, Dr. Anne Carver, to declare him sane and get him the hell out of here. Carver does her best to be kind and nurturing, but her narration would seem to indicate that she hates her job. White pleads his case and Anne agrees to do what she can to help.

We then get a brief scene of Anne trying to have a normal life, but her duties at Arkham keep calling her back like a recurring nightmare she can’t wake up from.

Next we get a scene of Anne getting chewed out by Commissioner Gordon for being shit at her job, not an entirely unfair assessment given how few of Arkham’s inmates actually end up reforming. By the way, this is all happening while Anne is accompanying a criminal named Doodlebug, back to Arkham. We’ll be discussing Doodlebug a bit further down the line as he ends up being kind of important to the story. Anyway, the real purpose of this scene is to establish that Anne is being watched by Batman, but why, we don’t quite know yet.

The next day in their session, Anne decides to cut a deal with Warren. If he pays her twenty million dollars, she can get him transferred to a minimum security white collar resort prison and she can get out of Gotham and start a new, more comfortable life for herself. Desperate to not be showering with The Joker anymore, Warren agrees right away, but before he leaves the office, Anne insists they keep talking, hinting that she may be falling for Warren.

It’s a rough week for both Anne and Warren as they both deal with the worst the inmates of Arkham have to offer in their own way, including Killer Croc slashing a new set of “gills” in the “Fish’s” neck. But, they both get through it and as white is transferring the money to Anne’s account, she starts undressing and throwing herself at him. Warren is on his way out of the mad house and he’s got a hot babe coming on to him. It looks like things are finally turning around for The Great White Shark.

That’s when Batman comes crashing into the room, shattering both the window and any hope Warren ever had of escaping this nightmare. See, as Batman reveals, this woman is not the real Anne Carver, she never was, something that is disturbingly confirmed when White finds the real Anne’s severed head hidden behind a decorative mask hanging on the wall of the office, and from the look and smell of things, she’s been dead for quite some time. In actuality, “Anne” is actually an inmate who goes by the name Jane Doe. Jane’s unique MO involves studying her eventual victims so she can impersonate them and take their lives after she’s murdered them. Jane took Anne’s life because she thought her life would be better on the other side of the couch, but when the life of an Arkham Psychiatrist turned out not to be all it was cracked up to be, she started seducing Warren as phase one of her plan to make him her next victim. And with any hope he had of escaping his hellish new status quo now up in smoke, both Warren and Jane are hauled back to their cells in defeat.

We’re off to a strong start here. The premise of this story is fascinating and seeing a white collar capitalist, IE someone who’s closer to a real life villain, tormented by comic book villains is something that I’m sure is satisfying to many. Warren White himself is an interesting balancing act. You’re not supposed to like this guy, but you’re also not supposed to take too much pleasure in the horrors he’s subjected to. He’s supposed to be just unlikable enough that you think he’s got it coming, but not so unlikable that you want to see his torment end eventually. The only weak point of this first chapter is the diversion with Anne/Jane. I feel like taking the focus off of Warren was a misstep, especially since the character we were following for a brief while wasn’t even who we thought she was. Warren seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, only for it to turn out to be an oncoming train at the last minute could have just as much impact, possibly more, without us needing to get in another character’s head. That aside, this was a strong first chapter. Thank you for joining me and I hope you enjoy the rest of my continued look at Arkham Asylum: Living Hell.