The Muppets Episode 1: Pig Girls Don't Cry
Since I’ve started covering a very dark show in Spawn, I have decided to balance things out with something a little more lighthearted. I have been a fan of The Muppets for as long as I can remember. The timeless characters created by Jim Henson have always held a special place in my heart, and with their new show, Muppets Now, hitting Disney+, what better time to take a second look at their attempt at a mockumentary style sitcom in the style of The Office or Parks and Rec. from 2015. You may be asking, “Why this show and not Muppets Now?” Well, truth be told, there’s not much to say about Muppets Now. It’s a little repetitive and Kermit the Frog himself isn’t in it nearly enough for my taste, but it still has that trademark Muppet Humor I love so much. Oh, and for the record, while I prefer Steve Whitmire, I have no problem with Matt Vogel as the new voice of Kermit the Frog. Matt's doing his best and while he's got some big shoes to fill, I'm sure a lot of people said the exact same thing when Steve took over for Jim Henson after his untimely passing. This show on the other hand, I think there’s a lot more that can be said about it. When it was first released, audiences hated it and felt it was too cynical and it sadly never made it past one season, but I personally enjoyed it and think the time has come to give it a reevaluation.
Before we get started, let me set up the basic premise. Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have recently broken up but are still working together. Piggy is now the host of a late night talk show where Kermit is the executive producer and all the other Muppets fill various roles in the show. Fozzie is Piggy’s comedy sidekick a la Andy Richter. Gonzo, Pepe and Rizzo are the writers. Sam Eagle is in charge of Standards and Practices. Scooter is the talent coordinator. Electric Mayhem is the House Band. Uncle Deadly is Piggy’s personal assistant and stylist, etcetera. Now that we got everything figured out, let’s dive right in.
We open with Kermit running the daily morning meeting with his staff, Bunsen getting everyone’s attention by tasering Beaker. There’s some pretty funny jokes here like Zoot mistaking the meeting for an AA meeting, Sam Eagle trying to get the word gesticulate removed from the script even though it just means to move your hands and Gonzo poking fun at the one on one interview device used in the shows that this series is meant to be emulating/parodying. The one major takeaway is that Fozzie has a new girlfriend and will be meeting her parents later that evening.
Later, Fozzie is warming up the crowd before Piggy’s show where we see the two funniest Muppets, Statler and Waldorf, who’s schtick remains pretty much the same and just as funny ever as they respond to Fozzie saying it’s his job to warm up the crowd with jokes by saying they’re going to die of hypothermia. Good stuff! Meanwhile, Piggy is getting ready to go on, but, in typical Miss Piggy fashion, she has a couple of ridiculous demands for Kermit. Such demands include putting a layer of generic trash over her actual trash so the janitorial staff doesn’t know what she throws away and finding lilacs for her dressing room that smell more lilac-y than the ones she already has. All absurd, but nothing out of the ordinary for a diva like Piggy. Where Kermit draws the line is Piggy demanding that they bump Elizabeth Banks from tomorrow night’s show, the only reason given is that Piggy “hates her stupid face.” As he explains in a one on one interview, back when they were dating, Kermit found Piggy to be Spontaneous and Unpredictable, which at the time he found sexy. But with dating out of the equation, Piggy’s just a lunatic and Kermit’s life is a bacon wrapped hell on earth.
Later, Kermit is in his office interviewing his replacement guest, Dancing with the Stars Host, Tom Bergeron. Bergeron proves to be incredibly dull, the most interesting thing that ever happened to him was the one time he grew a mustache and a few people mistook him for Tom Selleck. Kermit admonishes Scooter for walking into a stage full of dancing stars and bringing back Tom Bergeron, only to be embarrassed to learn that Bergeron is still in earshot. Don’t worry, he’ll still do the show.
Elsewhere, Fozzie is on his way to his girlfriend Becky’s parents’ house for dinner and we’re treated to, in my opinion, the funniest joke in the episode.
“I really want to make a good first impression on Becky’s parents. She’s the first girl I’ve dated in a long time. When your online profile says ‘Passionate Bear Looking for Love’ you get a lot of wrong responses. Well, not wrong, just wrong for me.”
That joke is incredible and I don't care how many heads it went over, I'm not explaining it, you're all going to have to google it yourselves. All that having been said though, the whole bit with Fozzie meeting Becky’s parents is the only part of the episode that falls flat for me. It’s basically the same joke repeated over and over again with Becky’s Dad apparently being racist towards bears. It’s dumb and it’s not helped by the fact that Becky’s Dad is played Anson from Burn Notice (I didn’t bother looking up his name), the owner of the most unlikeable face in human history.
Back at the office, while Kermit is going over an embarrassingly lame sketch written by Gonzo for Tom Bergeron, we’re introduced to Denise, Kermit’s new girlfriend. What can we say, Kermit’s got a thing for Pigs. Denise is mostly harmless, but I can see how she rubbed a lot of people the wrong way back when the show first aired. I think a lot of the problems people had with the character stem from the fact that Denise isn’t really her own character and instead just feels like a device to further the tension between Kermit and Piggy. In any case, Kermit and Denise eat dinner together and Kermit starts stress eating over the whole Elizabeth Banks thing. This prompts Denise to suggest that Piggy’s apparent hatred of Elizabeth Banks has something to do with an embarrassing screen test they had together for the Hunger Games movies. Well that tears it. Miss Piggy may karate chop him into oblivion for it, but this is still his show and Kermit’s not about to let Piggy bump a major star over something so petty.
The next day at morning meeting, Kermit informs the other Muppets that Elizabeth Banks is back in and that it’s important Piggy not find out until show time, something which may prove difficult when Elizabeth Banks shows up early. To distract her, Kermit has Scooter take Banks on a tour of the studio, much to her annoyance. Things get surprisingly violent on the tour. It probably shouldn’t be, but Scooter getting the crap kicked out of him is hilarious.
Later, we see Electric Mayhem warming up with tonight’s musical guest, Imagine Dragons. In a bit I appreciate, Janice remarks that they’re original band name was “Imagine Dragons.” When Floyd says that that’s their name now, she responds with “I know, they kept it.” For those of you scratching your heads, Imagine Dragons has stated that their current band name is actually an anagram for their original one, but to this day, that original name has yet to be revealed. As Kermit is going over tonight’s show with Piggy and Fozzie tries to introduce her to Becky’s parents in a desperate attempt to impress them, Elizabeth Banks returns to the lot and Piggy loses her shit on Kermit. Kermit tries to calm her down, saying it’s silly to mess up the show just because she had an embarrassing screen test with Elizabeth Banks. Piggy says that her dislike of Elizabeth Banks has nothing to do with the screen test, and everything to do with her movie Pitch Perfect 2.
In a flashback scene, Kermit and Piggy are seen arguing outside a movie theatre, the two having missed the entire movie because Piggy was too busy taking selfies with fans all night, even some who didn’t even ask for them. Kermit his fed up. He’s tired of Piggy always being a celebrity and never just his girlfriend, and so, they break up, a movie poster of Elizabeth Banks in the background serving as a reminder of that fateful evening. I have to say, seeing this iconic duo breakup really is heartbreaking, and it does add some more depth to the show than just the typically madcap Muppet comedy.
Seeing how he messed up, Kermit apologizes to Piggy and the two admit that working together after their breakup hasn’t been easy and they agree to try and be more honest with each other from now on. Piggy uses said honesty to tell Kermit he’s getting fat and that she has no idea what he sees in his new girlfriend. Still, the show goes off without a hitch, Tom Bergeron is bummed after being booted from the show and Electric Mayhem and Imagine Dragons perform their song “Roots” as the credits roll.
We’re off to a promising start here. While there are some jokes that fall flat, mostly involving the Fozzie subplot, there are still plenty of laughs to be had and enough drama to balance it out. All the Muppet characters we know and love are here and they’re all in top form. Overall, while episode one leaves room for improvement, it’s still a ton of fun.