Wes's Guide to Gargoyles: Protection

Welcome back to Gargoyles everybody!

Our episode opens with a couple who owns a restaurant downtown. It seems someone has been running a protection racket to extort money from local businesses like this one and these two aren’t willing to pay. After closing up shop, the two notice a briefcase that a customer left behind. They leave it there, thinking that whoever it belongs to will pick it up in the morning. As the door closes, the briefcase turns out to be a bomb and the restaurant is destroyed. And who was behind this heinous attack. It was… wait, Dracon!? Again!? Really!? How the hell did this skunk haired little shrimp get out of prison!? Crap, now I have to put up with this scumbag the entire episode. Anywho, we see Dracon telling Glasses that he did a good job bombing the restaurant but Glasses has some bad news, someone is trying to muscle in on Dracon’s territory and has started a protection racket of their own, and the word on the street is, it’s a crooked cop. Dracon orders Glasses to figure out who this cop is and send them a message.

Over at the clocktower, Broadway and Goliath are watching a news report about the restaurant bombings. The restaurant owners seem too afraid to say anything, but it’s clear from that report that police believe that Tony Dracon is behind the protection racket. Goliath is enraged and offended by the very concept of a protection racket and it’s easy to see why. For a Gargoyle, being a protector is a way of life, a duty that any Gargoyle, but especially Goliath, takes very seriously. But these criminals who extort money from innocent and call it protection, they make a mockery of everything Goliath stands for. Goliath wonders why the police don’t shut Dracon down immediately, which turns the subject of conversation to Elisa. Apparently, she hasn’t been to visit in a couple days, leaving the Gargoyles to wonder what’s going on.

At the precinct, the Captain, Maria Chavez, is looking for Elisa as well. Bluestone hasn’t seen her either, he’s been too busy bringing in Joey, an associate of Tony Dracon’s, to question him about the restaurant bombing. Matt questions Joey, but the slimy little thug ain’t talking. That’s when Elisa finally shows up and she wants a word with Joey, alone. As it turns out, the crooked cop trying to muscle in on Dracon’s business is Elisa herself and she wants to make sure that Joey delivers his boss the message that Dracon’s territory is now her territory. Chavez calls Elisa out into the hall where it’s revealed that the captain has been onto Elisa’s scheme and suspends her without pay pending an investigation, even taking her gun and her badge. As Elisa leaves, Goliath and Broadway spot her. Suspicious as to why she hasn’t been stopping by, Goliath assumes something must be wrong and the two follow her. Meanwhile, Joey, who heard the whole thing, calls up Dracon to inform him that Detective Maza is the crooked cop he’s looking for.

We join back up with Elisa in a local pool parlor. Eisa is also now sporting a cool new ensemble complete with a black jacket to symbolize that she’s gone to the dark side. Going to be honest, I actually dig this outfit more than her usual attire, but I digress. Elisa goes into her whole spiel, threatening to wreck the place if the owner doesn’t pay up. However, it turns out the owner tipped off Dracon who has sent his thugs to come collect Elisa. They force Elisa into their car but don’t get too far before Goliath and Broadway swoop in to start kicking some gangster ass, Elisa apparently seeing their arrival as something of an inconvenience. Goliath grabs Glasses by the throat and asks Elisa if she’s okay. Elisa starts yelling at Goliath, telling him to stop following her everywhere, laying on the “I’m a bad guy now” act really thick in the process. Elisa tells Goliath to put down Glasses and leave her alone while she’s trying to do business. Goliath is understandably confused and believes that Elisa must be under some kind of magic spell. Broadway on the other hand suggests that there may be a more plausible explanation. Since the episode’s writers are talented enough to where this doesn’t need to be spelled out for us, I’ll let you in on what’s going on. Elisa has gone undercover as a dirty cop. Elisa roughing up Dracon’s thug, Chavez taking her badge, the business at the pool parlor, all a show to get Dracon’s attention and hopefully gather enough evidence to send the little weasel to prison for good this time. Since Broadway watches a lot of detective movies, he was able to figure out what was going on before Goliath.

At Dracon’s penthouse, Dracon is both intrigued and a little worried that Elisa was apparently able to control the massive winged purple monster the same way one would command a Rottweiler. Dracon has glasses show the good detective in. The crime boss turns up the ol’ Dracon… well, I can’t in good conscience call it “charm” because that would imply that Tony here is, y’know, charming. It’s more like concentrated sleaze masquerading as charm in a similar fashion to how someone might present you with a plate of lukewarm noodles doused in ketchup and try to convince you it’s a painstakingly prepared spaghetti dinner. Anywho, whatever Dracon’s trying, Elisa is having none of it and wants to get right down to business. I especially like the part where she pushes Dracon around for calling her “sugar.”

Meanwhile, we see that Elisa is not the only cop in on this operation as Bluestone has gone undercover at a convenience store while Chavez and Morgan have done the same at a laundromat. Glasses walks into the convenience store and gives the Protection Racket spiel. Matt says he’d be willing to pay, but only if the big boss shows up in person. Over at the laundromat, Chavez and Morgan tell Joey that they aren’t paying no matter what. It’s their hope that one of these undercover operations will be enough to get Dracon’s attention.

Back at casa de Dracon, ol’ captain scumbag is buttering up Elisa and trying to convince her that they should be working together. However, Dracon was also informed of how Elisa was somehow able to control those monsters and wants her to convince them to work for Dracon. Elisa, likely not wanting her friends involved in all this, tries to talk Tony out of it by saying that the Gargoyles are wild and unpredictable and that they don’t care about things like money and power. Unbeknownst to Elisa, Broadway and Goliath have been listening in at the window and pick now to burst in. I will say, I laughed my ass off for a solid two minutes at Dracon immediately diving behind the couch the second the Gargoyles make their presence known. Goliath and Broadway, now both fully aware of what’s going on, act like they like the idea of money and power and want in on the protection racket. Broadway also steals Dracon’s jar of jalapenos, because why not. Goliath and Broadway play their parts well enough to convince Dracon so he agrees to take them on as partners. Glasses walks in and, after a brief misunderstanding with the Gargoyles, he tells Dracon about the convenience store and the laundromat. Dracon agrees to pay the convenience store a visit and invites Elisa along for the ride. Dracon also sends the Gargoyles to the laundromat with Joey. Joey offers them a ride, but the Gargoyles prefer to glide there. As they head off, Goliath tells Broadway to head to the laundromat without him as he wants to make sure Elisa stays safe.

Joey gets to the laundromat first and doesn’t even bother waiting for the Gargoyles before knocking out Chavez and Morgan with some gas and planting a bomb. Typical criminals, always in a hurry. Broadway arrives and takes out Joey and the thugs he brought with him easily before leaving with the bomb and allowing it to detonate safely in the sky. Meanwhile, at the convenience store Tony introduces himself as the man in charge that they wanted to see. Well, what he actually says is “it doesn’t get more in charge than me.” Oh, Tony, Tony, Tony, I believe David Xanatos would like a word with you, or at least he would if he believed that associating with a small fry sewer rat like you was in any way a worthwhile use of his valuable time. Anywho, Tony gives the whole protection Racket spiel to Matt and the storeowner, not knowing that the security cameras are rolling. Now that they have the evidence on tape, the cops drop the act and place Dracon under arrest. Unfortunately, Dracon isn’t as stupid as he looks and suspected that this might be a trap, that’s why he instructed some of his goons to follow him as backup. Dracon wrestles the gun out of Elisa’s hands and takes her hostage while his thugs take aim at Bluestone. Fortunately for Elisa, Goliath is standing right outside and he’s tired of playing games. Elisa breaks free in the distraction and kicks Tony in the face for good measure. Dracon makes a run for it, but Goliath is in hot pursuit. Goliath catches Dracon and finally cuts the bullshit. Goliath lays out how disgusted he is at the very existence of men like Dracon who blackmail and extort the innocent and call it protection. Goliath makes it clear that if he had his way, he’d happily drop the slimy little leech off the top of the Empire State building and let the street sweepers sort him out, but alas, Gargoyle justice is not human justice, so Goliath leaves the very frightened Dracon to the police.

Back at the Clocktower, while Broadway continues to chow down on the jalapenos he stole from Dracon, Elisa and Goliath have a brief discussion on the real meaning of protection. Our episode ends with Broadway offering Goliath one of his jalapenos and Goliath, not being able to handle the spice, shouting the word jalapeno as the sun rises.

One thing I really liked about this episode was how it didn’t feel the need to spell it out for us that Elisa was undercover. This is Elisa, she’s shown throughout thirty-one episodes that she’s as a good and honest cop to the core. No way would she do a full 180 out of nowhere unless something was up. Once you ruled out magic spell, which really wouldn’t have made sense in this situation, undercover is the only explanation left. The writers trusted the viewers to figure out what was going on instead of spelling out the obvious. Also, having Broadway use his knowledge of detective movies to figure out what was going on was a clever touch. Nice work. This episode also introduces a very odd running gag. Remember Broadway’s jar of jalapenos? Well, for whatever reason from this episode forward, our heroes will be using the word “jalapeno” when they really mean “holy shit” or something to that effect. No idea why this was a thing. I always theorized that someone made a bet in the writers room that they could naturally work the word jalapeno into the script a certain number of times, kinda like a weird variant of the meow game from the movie Super Troopers. All that having been said, this episode was… just okay. Not especially bad, but not especially great either. There were some absolute gems like any time Goliath scares the shit out of Dracon, but mostly it was just a fairly run of the mill gangster story featuring a one-dimensional villain.

We end today’s article on a bittersweet note. I started this whole project as a means to keep myself sane while on temporary lay-off from my day job due to the COVID-19 outbreak. Well, good news, tomorrow, I finally go back to work! Sadly, this means I will no longer have time to post one of these articles daily like usual. Don’t worry, this project isn’t stopping, not by a long shot, I just won’t be able to post as frequently as before. I’d like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read these articles, it has meant the world to me and has inspired me to keep at it, even after my time stuck at home has passed. When we do eventually return for more, we’ll finally be following up with Derek and the other mutated cat-creatures created by Sevarius in The Cage