Wes's Guide to Gargoyles: Upgrade

Welcome friends, to another episode of Gargoyles!

As our episode opens, we catch up with The Pack and it seems like they’ve fallen on hard times since the last time we saw them. The team of former world class mercenaries and assassins, not to mention world famous TV stars, now reduced to common bank robbers just so they can make a living. While most of The Pack seem fine with the criminal life, Dingo is starting to have his doubts. Anywho, just as The Pack are loading the loot onto their jet, The Gargoyles swoop in and a big fight ensues. The Pack get their hits in, but it’s clear that they’re no match for the Gargoyles. Only Dingo’s quick thinking allows the bad guys to get away with some of their score as the big Australian throws an electro-grenade, zapping Goliath and distracting the others long enough for The Pack to retreat. As they fly away in their jet, a knock is heard at the door. Odd considering they’re presently in mid-air. Wolf opens the airlock to find the floating head of Coyote, Xanatos’s android double (Jonathan Frakes, Take a Shot), asking to be let in.

Back at the Clocktower, Goliath is pretty banged up. As Hudson sees to his wounds, he tells Goliath that, though he hates to think of it, it’s time he chose a second in command to lead the clan should he ever die or step down as leader due to old age as Hudson once did. Goliath sees the wisdom in this, but the problem remains, of the three gifted young warriors in the clan, who should Goliath choose?

At the bottom of the ocean, we join The Pack in their jet, which evidently doubles as a submarine. Hey, the thing was built by Xanatos, who knows what else it can do. It’s probably also a spaceship and comes equipped with a sonic cannon and a whiskey hose. Anywho, The Pack is wondering what the severed head of their benefactor’s personal terminator clone has to say. It seems Coyote is here to make The Pack an offer, an offer that will give them an edge over the Gargoyles. Coyote explains some past Xanatos projects like Cold Stone, Xanatos’ battle suit and the mutant tiger-bat monsters. Coyote offers to “upgrade” the pack in a similar fashion, if they're interested. Jackal wants to know what the catch is but Coyote insists that it’s all compliments of the hard-working men and women of Xanatos Enterprises before flashing a creepy smile. You know, there’s something about Xanatos programming his killer robot to be a shill for his company that makes me chuckle, it just seems like a Xanatos thing to do.

Speaking of Xanatos, we get a very brief scene of Fox and himself sitting at a chess board, Xanatos saying “and so the game begins.”

Back at the Clocktower, it seems one month has passed since Goliath first announced that he’s looking to name a second in command and the trio have gotten pretty competitive. Even Bronx seems to find their constant game of one-upmanship annoying. The trio glides off for the night, hoping to impress Goliath some more. As Goliath watches the trio leave, Hudson reminds him that he can’t put off naming a successor forever. However, the decision will have to wait a little while longer as Elisa has arrives at the Clocktower to inform Goliath that The Pack are pinned down in an abandoned building. With no time to gather up the trio, Elisa, Goliath Hudson and Bronx head out.

At the building, Goliath and the others are greeted by Coyote-head before the Pack reveal their new forms. First up is Dingo. Dingo wasn’t quite ready to throw away his humanity just yet so instead opted for a custom-made Iron Man suit. The rest of the pack went for some more… freaky upgrades. Next up are Jackal and Hyena, who have been turned into cyborgs like Cold Stone, making them much more efficient, not to mention terrifying, killing machines. And finally, there’s wolf. Wolf has always been an animal, now, the outside matches the inside as he’s opted for gene splicing, making him a literal wolf-man. The new Pack prove more than a match for Elisa and the Gargoyles, and even have a few new tricks up their sleeves, Jackal’s detachable hand is especially off-putting. While everyone else gets taken down by The Pack, Goliath climbs the building to deal with Coyote. Since Wolf was the one who took down Hudson, he declares himself the new leader, but Dingo isn’t having it. It seems Dingo is a bit disgusted by his comrades’ willingness to turn themselves into monsters and is once again starting to have second thoughts about all this. Wolf still insists he’s the leader, reminding Dingo that the agreement was, whoever bagged the biggest Gargoyle got to be in charge. Well, just as Wolf finishes his sentence, an unconscious Goliath falls through the ceiling, followed shortly by Coyote in his new, and very large, body. Looks like the giant robot is in charge now. I should also note that Hyena seems to find Coyote’s new, and significantly less humanoid body very sexy. You know it’s bad when even Jackal of all people is creeped out. Though this does raise a question. Now that Hyena’s a cyborg, does that make her weird robot fetish more or less creepy? Anywho, The Pack take their captives to their new hideout and are planning to release Bronx just before sunrise so he can lead them back to the other Gargoyles.

Back with Fox and Xanatos at the chess board, Xanatos notes that Fox appears to be in check, but Fox says she has a few moves left.

The trio returns to the Clocktower, still trying one-up each other, only to find the place deserted. The guys check out a news report about The Pack, giving our heroes a pretty good idea what happened to Goliath and the others, but not where to find them. However, the trio soon hear a very strange commercial message, Lexington recognizing the voice as Fox. Fox’s commercial specifically mentions the names of the areas in New York that the Gargoyles got their names from, indicating that she’s addressing them directly. From the commercial, Brooklyn figures out that the Pack’s new hideout is somewhere near the train station. Broadway thinks it might be a trap, but Brooklyn says that with Goliath and the others in danger, they don’t really have much of a choice.

Back at the chess board, Xanatos notes that Fox made a very clever move, but says that he still has the advantage.

The trio arrive at The Pack’s hideout, shocked to see what they’ve become. Lexington, still harboring a grudge against The Pack, is ready to charge in, but Brooklyn holds him back, stating that he has a plan. Brookyln swoops in first leading Wolf and Jackal outside while Lexington cuts the power long enough for Broadway to free the captives. Now the real fight begins. As the captives recover, Lexington battles Dingo and Hyena, the latter of whom shows off some creepy new abilities like extending her limbs like a spider, Brooklyn squares off with son of the Wolf-Man and Inspector Gadget’s sociopathic cousin, and Broadway finds himself getting Gargoyle-handled by Coyote 2.0. However, once Goliath and the others join in, the fight becomes a lot more even. Broadway and Lexington manage take out Hyena with a double-team attack. Brooklyn manages to avoid Jackal’s new accessories long enough to knock him out with a plank of wood. Wolf battles Hudson and manages to knock his sword from his hands. Wolf tries to pick it up, not realizing that it landed on the third rail of the train track, meaning that he meets the fate that all must endure for being in this show, electrocution. Dingo, having had enough of this freak show, decides to bail on The Pack, only to get caught by Elisa with a crane mounted industrial magnet. That just leaves Coyote. Coyote definitely proves the most formidable member of The Pack, but against all the Gargolyes at once, he doesn’t stand a chance and Goliath, in the most unsettling scene in an episode full of unsettling scenes, crushes Coyote’s robot head. Personally, I think it’s the scream you hear as Goliath crushes the head like a beer can that pushes it over the edge. Anywho, the Gargoyles tie up The Pack and leave them to the police.

Back at the Clocktower, the time has come for Goliath to make his decision. Apparently, Goliath has had a choice in mind for weeks but was hesitant to reveal it, fearing it would drive a wedge between the trio. However, Goliath now sees that they are all worthy warriors and an excellent fighting team. Though they may sometimes bicker or get competitive with one another, at the end of the day, Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway all have each other’s backs, no matter what. And so, Goliath names his new second in command, Brooklyn. Brooklyn is honored to accept this new appointment and the others offer their congratulations. As the sun comes up, Brooklyn tells Goliath to be careful out there as he’s in no hurry to take his place.

Our episode ends with Xanatos and Fox once again at the chess board, and we now see that the pieces look like the Gargoyles and The Pack. It seems Fox has won this round and Xanatos is graceful in defeat, happy to have found a true equal in the love of his life. So let me get this straight, this whole thing, this whole thing, of pitting the Gargoyles and The Pack against one another and turning the Pack into monsters in the process was just family game night at the Xanatos house? That’s… amazing. And here I thought things got intense when me and my cousins played Monopoly.

There’s a lot going on in this episode. First up, there was The Pack getting upgraded, taking the forms that we’ll be seeing them in for the rest of the series. It definitely makes them more formidable adversaries as well as a lot creepier. Any episode featuring The Pack always leads to a lot of cool fight scenes and this was no exception especially with the bad guys showing off their new abilities. I especially liked how Dingo finally decides to bail on The Pack. As I said way back in Thrill of the Hunt, Dingo is my favorite member of the group, and that’s mostly due to the fact that he’s always been the most level-headed/least psychotic one of the bunch. It makes perfect sense that he’d want to hold on to his humanity. Don’t worry, we’ll be discussing Dingo in great detail in a later episode. Then there’s Goliath naming a successor. While the trio trying to one up each other got a little tiresome, it never outstayed its welcome. I think Brooklyn is the logical choice. Nothing against Lex or Broadway, but Brookyln has shown himself to be the most capable warrior and was the one who came up with the plan to fight The Pack and free the others. Brooklyn’s leadership ability is another topic we’ll be discussing further in a later episode. Finally, there’s the chess game between Fox and Xanatos. There’s just something I love about these two getting their kicks by pitting a thousand-year-old clan of Gargoyles against a squad of cyborg mercenaries and seeing who wins. When you’re as rich as Xanatos, you need to get creative with game night I guess. All in all, a fun and memorable episode with some great fight scenes, some character development for Brooklyn and a cool little moment between Fox and Xanatos as the cherry on top. Next time, Elisa plays the part of a dirty cop in Protection