Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 30: Bloodlines
Well my friends, it’s time to discuss something that brings joy and positivity to the world, Lucha Underground!
As we learned last week, the World Wide Underground will be the first to compete for the seven prized Aztec Medallions, and we waste no time getting into the action
Match #1: The World Wide Underground vs. The Rabbit Tribe: Trios Match for Three Ancient Aztec Medallions
Out first, you know ‘em, you love ‘em, everybody give it up for the world’s greatest Wascally Wabbits, Saltador, Mala Suerte and The Mighty Mad Hatter himself, Paul London. As goofy as they appear, their skills are never to be underestimated as these rabbits are dynamite! Out next, the Taya, PJ Black and Ricky Mandel of the World Wide Underground, flanked by the unfortunate case of Jack Evans, who’s injury has not only forced him to have his jaw wired shut, but also, forfeit his spot in this match to the runt of the World Wide Underground, Ricky Mandel. However, small though it may be, Jack still manages to make his own clever contributions to the match in the form of signs written on a white board.
The Rabbit Tribe were in rare form during this match, with their wild antics designed to keep their opponents off balance. At one point, The three members of the tribe fought over who would get attacked in the corner by Taya, meaning that one of them would be lucky enough to have the lovely lady’s crotch in their face. However, there is strategy beneath the perversion as when Taya went for the cover, on London, the other two Rabbits were ready and waiting to break up the pin. However, the World Wide Underground’s weak link, of course, proved to be Ricky Mandel as a shooting star press from Paul London allowed the Rabbit Tribe to capture the medallions.
Winners: The Rabbit Tribe
Later, in the locker Room, Johnny Mundo and Benjamin Cook are chewing out the World Wide Underground for losing to a bunch of carrot worshiping Looney Tunes. Johnny lets them off with a stern warning, but makes it clear that the WWU are skating on thin ice.
Match #2: Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes: Cueto Cup Quarter Final Match
Remember last week when I referred to Prince Puma vs. Dante Fox as a beautiful work of art? Well, this baby lives at the other end of that spectrum. Weren’t nothing beautiful about this match, but it was still a true hardcore masterpiece, and a perfect show for a hardcore junkie like myself.
The self-proclaimed Lucha Death Machine barely made it to the ring before the Man of a Thousand Deaths sought retaliation for the brutal attack he suffered backstage at the hands of Crane. So brutal was this assault, that Dario Cueto had no choice but to declare this a no-disqualification match, and let me tell you, these two warriors took full advantage of that stipulation. There was never a moment in this entire match that I did not believe that these two wanted any less but to end their opponent’s life. Chair Shot, table shots, blood and savagery, this match had it all. Jeremiah Crane is one of the toughest and most unpredictable players in the temple, but even he cannot escape death, and fell victim to a brutal flatliner.
Winner: Mil Muertes
Some time later, a stranger enters Dario Cueto’s office introducing himself as Agent Winter of the FBI. Dario assumes he’s here to arrest him, but actually he’s hear as Councilman Delgado’s replacement, named so by “the order” the shadowy cabal presumably lead by Dr. Claw from way back in the first episode this season. Winter is quite the unsettling fellow, talking casually about being a fan of Lucha Underground but then at the drop of a hat, musing about how when the Gods rise, the world will burn in a sea of holy fire. It’s truly disturbing. Winter leaves, leaving Dario looking quite shaken. It is now clear that Dario’s interest and this Order’s interest may no longer align made clear by how he nervously clutches his precious red bull statue on his desk.
Main Event: Pentagon Dark vs. Texano: Cueto Cup Quarter Final Match
With two of the toughest warriors in the temple going head to head, this match was just awesome! Pentagon may have “Cero Miedo” but he’s never face a brawler quite like Texano. Both warriors managed to hold their own against one another, but the real game changer came in the form of Famous B. B, still eager to get Texano to agree to be his client, he has Brenda distract the ref while he tries to slip Texano a horseshoe. However, Famous B evidently has horrendous aim and the horseshoe is instead caught by Pentagon who uses it to take down Texano and pick up the win.
Winner: Pentagon Dark
As per usual, Pentagon tries to make his customary sacrifice, but B, who was actually one of the first to get his arm broken at Pentagon’s hands, tries to save his potential client and ends up getting both his and Brenda’s arms broken.
Later that night, Captain Vasquez is sitting in her office when one of her subordinates informs her that there is a woman named Catrina here to see her. Catrina teleports in in her usual creepy way and it’s immediately clear that her and Vasquez have history with one another as we’ve suspected for some time. Despite an apparent agreement to stay out of one another’s way, Vasquez needs Catrina’s held. The Gods are rising and the gauntlet that Cage possesses is the key to their coming. Catrina declares this to be not her problem, but Vasquez reminds her that she gave her life, twice, holds up her half of the amulet as if to remind Catrina. Catrina pulls out her half and declares that whatever Vasquez gave her is not life. She is forced to wander through existence trapped between two realms like a ghost. Vasquez says that there’s only one man who’s powerful enough to take the gauntlet from Cage, and as it happens, that man answers to Catrina, Mil Muertes. Vasqu
Ez proposes a deal, the Gauntlet for Vasquez’s half of the amulet, even though giving it away would make Vasquez mortal once again, showing the severity of the situation. Then, Catrina drops the bombshell with her parting words.
“Well, it seems like we have a deal… Mother”
Match of the Night: Without hesitation, I give this one to Mil vs. Jeremiah. This match was a hardcore dream. At least once every few minutes, I found myself wincing when a chair shot looked way too real. This match no only affirmed my belief that Jeremiah Crane is one of the best in Lucha Underground right now, but also reminded me just how incredibly Mil Muertes could be.
Spot of the Night: Giving it to the Mil Muertes’s jumping Flatliner. Mil is a smart competitor and he knew he needed a move with just the right amount of force if he was going to keep Jeremiah down. Segment of the Night: Holy Fucking Shit! No shit I’m giving it to Catrina and Vasquez. We’ve known that these two were somehow connected and we’ve been waiting twenty-eight episodes to find out, and now that we know what’s up the payoff does not disspoint. Once we learn that they are mother and daughter, the pieces fall into place. At some point in her life, Vasquez was forced to save her daughter from death and gifted her the other half of the amulet, presumably granting her her supernatural abilities. The power and immortality corrupted Catrina and she and her mother’s relationship grew strained. When Catrina first said the word “mother” I nearly dislocated my jaw in surprise. And before we sign off for the week, it’s episode 30, you know what that means! It’s time to name the frontrunner for the Wes’s Blogs and Reviews Lucha Underground MVP. Ladies and gentlemen, with a grand total of eleven overall points, I once again award as our frontrunner…
PRINCE PUMA!!!
From the very beginning, Puma has been the top star in the temple and it’s incredibly easy to understand why. Not only is he a phenomenal talent in his own right, but he also brings out the best in his competitors. Be it PJ Black, Dante Fox, Mil Muertes, or Johnny Mundo, Puma forces his opponents to reach deep down and reach their maximum potential. Puma’s trip to the dark side has also brought out a much appreciated aggression in the once unflappable baby face, and I’m curious to see how that carries him through the remainder of the Cueto cup, he is my pick to win afterall.
Final Thoughts: Both Match-Wise and Story Wise, this may have been the strongest episode all season. The endgame that has been in the background of the action since day one is finally beginning to take shape and we are beginning to ramp up to something big. Join me next week to see how this continues to progress.