Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 24: Macho Madness

Ladies and gentlemen, we are back for more Lucha Underground. We once again have a stacked card for you guys as the first round of the Cueto Cup continues, so let’s keep this ball a’ rollin’ and dive right in.

We open with The Man of a Thousand Deaths himself, Mil Muertes, getting ready for his match tonight. Catrina enters the room and Mil expresses his love for the mysterious dark lady as the two share a kiss. Now remember, earlier this season, Catrina made a point to say that she does not truly love Mil Muertes and that her heart belongs to another, heretofore unrevealed individual. Mil isn’t going to be to happy about that when he finds out, but off in the distance, another individual with designs on Catrina, Jeremiah Crane, is livid about the whole situation right now. But let us waste no more time and jump right in to the first match.

Match #1: Veneno vs. Mil Muertes: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

Now remember, Veneno is not all that he appears, he’s actually Cortez Castro having gone even deeper undercover in order to gain more intel on what Dario and his shady associates are planning.

Veneno, regardless of what persona he wears, is a tough customer, but Mil Muertes is a monster, plain and simple, and with his mind focused on The Cueto Cup, The Lucha Underground Championship and if possible, vengeance against his nemesis, Prince Puma, the likes of Veneno doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell. And so it came to pass, with a devastating flatliner, Mil Muertes advances in the Cueto Cup.

Winner: Mil Muertes

And from there, we slide right into the next match up.

Match #2: Paul London vs. Vibora: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

Paul London, the seasoned veteran of the industry, now with a strange new Mad Hatter-esque persona, complete with a carrot in his hat. As an aside, I absolutely LOVE how the Rabbit Tribe’s entrance music sounds like Jefferson Airplane’s White Rabbit. However, even under the veneer of weirdness and presumably hallucinogenic drugs, there are few who would ever doubt Paul London’s credentials, but against a deadly Luchasaurus like the gigantic Vibora, it’s going to take more than just skill, you’re going to need a plan, especially when in Vibora’s corner stands the Sinister, Seductive, Sultry, Psychotic, Sexy, Slithering, Superior, Surreal, Sneering, Sapphire Serpentine Senorita. Does Paul London have a plan? We’re going to have to find out.

Paul starts the match off strong with a dropkick, forcing the fight to the outside with some impressive strikes. However, the Luchasaurus Rex is too massive to even be phased, so the silly rabbit is forced to reach into his hat for some tricks. Then, in a moment that I almost awarded spot of the night on pure entertainment value alone, Paul grabs Kobra on the outside and threatens to, I shit you not, stab her with a carrot if Vibora doesn’t surrender. Kobra however, after that devastating midget slap last week, is not one to let anyone get the drop on her twice and calmly calls Vibora to lay waste to this idiot threatening her with a vegetable. Still, Paul London manages to fight back with some impressively stiff kicks and a head scissors bringing the big lizard to the floor. It’s here when we remember that Bugs Bunny never defeats Elmer Fudd by overpowering him, but by outsmarting him and indeed, this rabbit had a plan as the other members of the Rabbit Tribe emerge from under the ring and grab Vibora’s legs, making him unable to answer the referee’s ten-count.

Winner by Count-Out: Paul London

And from there, we keep the ball rolling with our third match of the evening.

Match #3: Taya vs. Joey Ryan: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

Taya is an attractive young woman, Joey Ryan may as well be the corporeal manifestation sexual deviancy, this will not end well.

Putting a face of visible disgust upon the face of Taya, the gross Joey Ryan oozes into the temple dripping with baby oil and sucking on an ass flavored lollipop. I actually have to had it to Joey, you can’t lose if you’re opponent is too grossed out to touch you. Still, Taya is a warrior first and takes the fight right to the corrupt cop, gaining the early advantage but Joey answers back with a stiff kick right to the face.

You know, I can’t believe I’m about to say this about Joey Ryan of all people, but I hope Fenix is taking notes on this one. Joey may be a scumbag, but at least he respects the skill of his opponent enough to know that he can’t afford to hold anything back.

However, you can never count the perfect woman out and after a devastating double northern lights suplex into a double stomp, Taya picks up the win.

Winner: Taya

Later, Mil Muertes is in the Bathroom (I guess even zombie warriors need to piss) when he’s brutally attacked by an incensed Jeremiah Crane. Crane mercilessly lays into the man of a thousand deaths with a steel chair, repeating the words “She’s Mine” before supposedly using that chair to crush Mil’s windpipe. But Jeremiah doesn’t have a lot of time to admire his handiwork as his match is next.

Main Event: Killshot vs. Jeremiah Crane: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

So I guess the theme of the evening is Stiff Kicks as both luchadores open up the match with some hard-hitting strikes. Killshot is used to combat be in in war torn Afghanistan or in the temple here in Boyle Heights, but he has never faced an opponent quite like Jeremiah Crane. This match was nothing short of amazing and it showcased both the precise striking ability of Killshot as well as the brutal brawling style of the man from the last house on the left. All over the temple these warriors fought, with no intention of giving either one an inch. However, the advantage came when Dante Fox, Killshot’s brother in arms turned nemesis appeared in the rafters to declare that things between them were far from over. Crane took advantage of the distraction and hit the cranial contusion on killshot for the win.

Winner: Jeremiah Crane

After the match, as Jeremiah kneels down on the Aztec symbol, the lights go out Catrina appears to taunt the victor.

Our episode ends in Dario Cueto’s office where he’s bragging to an unseen individual about how awesome the Cueto Cup has been so far, and to his credit, he’s not wrong. However, Dario’s mysterious guest is wondering who his opponent will be next week and seeing as how there’s only one Luchadore without a match in the tournament next week, he’ll be facing Son of Havoc. However, that seems to suit the mystery man just fine as he is revealed to be what appears to be a gigantic clone of Son of Havoc. Well, that or Braun Strowman trying out his Son of Havoc cosplay. This lumbering giant introduces himself as Son of Madness, ending the show.

Match of the Night:

Well, pretty obvious that match of the night goes to Jeremiah vs. Killshot. Both of these guys have come a long way since they came to the Temple. Killshot went from being the lackey of Big Ryck to one of the top guys in Lucha Underground over the course of three seasons whereas Jeremiah, in only one season went from being someone I couldn’t stand to someone I can’t get enough of. These two put on a hell of a show and they impressed the living hell out of me.

Spot of the Night: At one point in the match, Killshot did what Striker called a tuck moonsault to the outside on Jeremiah. Killshot’s vertical leap allowing him to clear the ropes in a single bound is impressive as it is, but the added moonsault makes it phenomenal.

Segment of the Night: Definitely giving it to Jeremiah’s brutal attack on Mil Muertes. It’s rare that we see Mil look so vulnerable, but damned if Jeremiah didn’t beat the supernatural out of the monster.

Final Thoughts: This episode was great, and leaves us with a lot of questions, exactly what an episode of Lucha Underground should do. Who is this Son of Madness and what is his connection with Son of Havoc. Will there be retaliation against Jeremiah for his attack on Mil Muertes and what form will it take? Why in Gods name was this episode called Macho Madness when it has nothing to do with Randy Savage? And most importantly, who will be named frontrunner for the Wes’s Blogs and Reviews Lucha Underground MVP next week for episode 25?