Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 22: The Cup Begins

Well ladies and gentlemen, in the words of Ed Sullivan, tonight, we got a really big show, so let us not dawdle and get right into the action, as tonight, we start the Cueto Cup!

Speaking of the Cueto Cup, we open in Dario’s office where El Jefe is putting together the tournament bracket. I especially like how he has “violence is a virtue” written at the bottom of the board. Anywho, someone enters the office and an annoyed Dario insists that they knock first, until he realizes that it’s Pentagon Dark. Pentagon is more pissed off than usual and he’s apparently on the hunt for the woman who broke his arm, Black Lotus. Dario says that Lotus isn’t here right now, and so, Pentagon decides that he’ll just have to settle for breaking Dario’s arms right now. Dario, in a bid to save his own skin decides to enter Pentagon in the Cueto Cup, and his first match will take place later tonight. Satisfied, at least for the time being, Pentagon leaves, but warns Cueto that if he doesn’t leave win the cup, he’s coming after Dario.

Next up, we join Matt Striker and Vampiro at ringside as Melissa introduces our first match of the evening.

Match #1: The Mack vs. Mala Suerte: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

In one corner, he tried to tell you so, but I guess you didn’t know, it’s The Mack! In the other, a member of the strange and exotic Rabbit Tribe, Mala Suerte. Up until this point, we’ve never seen Mala without his Rabbit Tribe brethren, Paul London and Saltador, so I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this match. But, much to my utter surprise, Mack and Suerte had a surprisingly competitive and exciting contest. Don’t let the strange Alice and Wonderland shtick fool you, beneath the mask and the suggestive t-shirt, the heart of a true ring general beats in the chest of Mala Suerte. However, you can never count out the Mack, who manages to withstand Suerte’s bag of tricks and with a devastating stunner, advances in the Cueto Cup.

Winner: The Mack

Next up, we go back stage where Cage is still brandishing the stylish gauntlet that Dario Cueto bestowed upon him for winning the Best of Five series against Texano. Cueto himself walks up and asks how he’s enjoying his gift. Of course, Cage loves the Power Glove, it’s so bad. Dario tells the machine that he doesn’t have him alone to thank for his newfound power, and tells him that Councilman Delgado, who, if you’ve been following along, you’ll remember as the minion of that scary Doctor Claw looking fellow from the season premiere, wants to meet with him tonight. While clearly apprehensive, Cage still considers the offer.

Match #2: Argenis vs. Pentagon Dark: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

If you know your Lucha Underground history, then you’ll remember that Argenis was among the first to have his arm broken during Pentagon’s decent into darkness. Argenis certainly remembers his history and is looking for some long overdue payback. Despite having yet to make his mark in the temple, Argenis is still a luchador of great renown, having come from a great Lucha Family including its fair share of legends, including the original Sin Cara. However, even with his legendary pedigree, and despite putting up a far more impressive fight than his last encounter with Pentagon, history was doomed to repeat itself and, at the behest of the bloodthirsty believers, Argenis once again leaves with a broken arm, courtesy of the man with Cero Miedo. Winner: Pentagon Dark

Match #3: Texano vs. Famous B: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

Unlike the other 31 participants, Famous B isn’t here to win the tournament and challenge for the Lucha Underground Championship, he’s here as part of a recruitment drive. Specifically, he wants to become Texano’s manager, even going so far as to dress like a stereotypical cowboy. He says to sweeten the deal, he’s even going to let Texano pin him. Texano agrees, but hits Famous B with a nasty power bomb first, he’s a bit of a dick that way.

Winner: Texano

After the match, the implication is that Texano will not be accepting Famous B’s offer, that is until he appears to enjoy getting goosed by B’s lovely assistant, the Beautiful Brenda, so who knows at this point.

After that we get a very nice vignette hyping the coming match between Johnny Mundo and Rey Mysterio, narrated by who I believe to be Mike Chiavallo, the guy who replaced Vampiro on commentary for the first Ultima Lucha. I don’t even have much to say about this other than that it’s awesome.

Main Event: Drago vs. Aerostar: Cueto Cup 1st Round Match

Despite having been the best of friends since Lucha Underground began, this is far from the first time these two have fought one-on-one in the ring. Who can forget their classic best of five series from season one? The only difference this time is that now things are personal. Drago betrayed his friend and now, Aerostar is out for revenge. Out first comes Drago, sporting a new, blood-red look and accompanied by everyone’s favorite sinister, seductive, sexy, sassy, psychotic, slithering, superior, sensual, sapphire serpentine senorita who is sweet enough to circulate my scribblings on social media, Kobra Moon.

One day that running gag is going to get old, and I am not going to care.

Anyway, out next is Aerostar looking not just for revenge, but also to see if he can get through to his brainwashed friend. The match the two have, despite Aerostar deliberately holding back as part of a vain hope to save his former ally, was nothing short of incredible. These two warriors know each other so well that they can work a five-star match with one another in their sleep. However, what gains Drago the advantage in this case was his Queen at ringside who helped to even the odds and allow the Dragon to get the victory, but not before utterly laying waste to the man from the cosmos.

Winner: Drago

Our show ends with Cage arriving at Delgado’s office. Delgado has this grandiose spiel about how Cage and his gauntlet are integral to their plans, but Cage makes it clear that he wants nothing to do with any of this and lashes out when Delgado gets forceful, Cage wraps his hand around his throat, the gauntlet clearly influencing his actions. Cage apologizes for his outburst and Delgado says that it’s just because he’s “still thinking like a man.” Cage takes exception to that remark and proceeds to TURN DELGADO’S HEAD INTO A READ STAIN ON THE WALL WITH A SINGLE PUNCH!!! As he brushes what’s left of Delgado’s skull off of his shoulder, Cage leaves, ending the show with him reminding Delgado's remains that he's not a man, HE'S A MACHINE!!!!!

Match of the Night:

It was a close call as Aerostar and Drago rarely disappoint, but I’m giving it to Mack and Mala Suerte. It could have gone either way, but what gives this match the slight edge is how much I wasn’t expecting this match to be awesome, while Drago and Aerostar’s greatness was pretty much a given. I was honestly expecting Mala to get squashed, but instead we got a fun and competitive match that did a great job of showcasing the talent of both competitors.

Spot of the Night: I’m giving it to Mala Suerte’s head-scissors takeover roll-through into a dropkick. That sequence was nothing short of a thing of beauty.

Segment of The Night: Cage murdered a man. Case closed. Seriously, Cage has been doing some great work ever since getting that gauntlet, especially with the subtle implications that the gauntlet is slowly taking over. Well done.

Well, the Cueto cup is off to a great start, and hey, I’m 4 – 0 with my predictions so far, so that’s cool too. Join me next time for more Lucha!