Top 20 Dragonball Abridged Moments #12

It’s easy forget given all that’s come since, but the first arc of Dragon Ball Z pulled an incredibly ballsy move by flat out killing off the main character. Mind you, in a world where Dragonballs exist, death has essentially been equated to spending a few minutes in the penalty box, but at the time, it was still an incredible moment. I mean, the killed Goku, the character we spent all of Dragon Ball coming to know and love. However, there was little time to mourn the death of this beloved character, as a great danger loomed in the future. No, I’m not talking about the impending arrival of the Saiyans, I’m talking about the fate of the poor sap who has to tell Chi-Chi that her husband is dead.

12. I’d Castrate the Messenger in his Sleep with a Rusty Carving Knife

Chi-Chi, that beautiful woman who lives in Goku’s house. One moment in the series proper that always stuck out to me was Piccolo overhearing a fight between Goku and Chi-Chi and quietly remarking, “That’s a fight Goku’s never going to win.” An amusing line, but it’s actually true. Goku has faced off against power mad space tyrants, bio-engineered monstrosities, and God like entities of seemingly limitless power without batting an eyelash, and yet, his overbearing wife scares the living shit out of him. Now, imagine what happens when you have to tell such a person that their husband is dead and their son had been kidnapped by an evil slug man. Sadly, the poor bastard chosen to undertake this task was Dragon Ball’s favorite fall guy, Krillin, presumably because Yamcha was busy that day. So, how does Chi-Chi respond to the news? Why, she threatens to chop of Krillin’s junk of course!

This was actually the first time we ever saw Chi-Chi in Dragon Ball Abridged, and it showed us all we needed to know about this character, namely, that she’s crazy and hilariously so. There’s obviously more to her character than just that, as she has proven herself a loving wife and mother, but the way she manages to intimidate characters who, to put it bluntly, could very easily kill her, is just hilarious and very much in the spirit of the original show. However, if you haven’t had your fill of horrible things being done to someone’s naughty bits, join me in the next entry.