Top 20 Dragon Ball Abridged Moments #19

Welcome back my friends. For our next entry on the countdown, we get a nice little rant from one of the definitive villains of the Dragonball Franchise, Frieza.

19. Who I am Convinced is Named Chuck!

Frieza, scourge of the galaxy, conqueror of countless worlds and destroyer of countless more… didn’t exactly have the best of luck on planet Namek. He came to the planet in search of the Dragon Balls in order to grant his wish for immortality, but since he got there, things for Lord Frieza have gone so far south they’ve hit space Mexico. However, after finally gathering the seven Dragon Balls, all of it, even losing two of his strongest soldiers, seems to have been worth it. Unfortunately, only a Namekian can activate the Dragonballs and Frieza… kinda sorta… killed them all… shit. Well, upon that revelation, Frieza finally snaps and lets loose this amusing frustrated rant.

I can’t believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the space boonies for nothing! Seriously, I’m surprised we didn’t hear banjos on the way in because everybody’s inbred and looks the f*cking same! Not to mention I lost Dodoria and Zarbon, the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long-distance calls to his girlfriend, WHO I AM CONVINCED IS NAMED CHUCK!

Frieza in DBA is actually voiced by LittleKuriboh, the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged series, yet another series that parodies a show from my childhood, and he does a fantastic job. I’m honestly not sure which came first, but he actually sounds eerily similar to Christopher Ayres, the current English voice of Frieza. Personally, I think LK’s Frieza is at his best when he’s frustrated, and this scene is one of my favorite examples of that. I especially liked that bit about Zarbon. For those who don’t know, Zarbon is one of the most effeminate characters in the entire franchise, and that includes most of the women, so the revelation that the abridged version of Zarbon was, in fact, heterosexual, took a lot of the characters off-guard and their reactions were hilarious.

We’ll discuss Frieza again later in the countdown, but for our next entry, I think we should step back in time.