Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 2: The Amulet
Once again fellow believers, it is time for Lucha Underground. We open this time around with a flashback to the night of Ultima Lucha Dos. See, one of the major storylines from last season involved undercover cop, Cortez Castro, along with his sleazy and gross partner, Joey Ryan, trying to bring down Dario Cueto. Despite the fact that it was obvious that Dario was shady as hell, Castro and Ryan’s superior, Captain Vasquez said that throwing him to jail wouldn’t solve anything and they need him to lead them to their real enemies (presumably Dr. Claw from last week). However, upon hearing Dario murder Mr. Cisco, a street thug whom Cortez had befriended while undercover, Castro decides to take matters into his own hands and decides it’s time to bring Dario in. More on the business with the police later, but for now, let’s go to the temple for our first match of the evening.
Match #1: Mascarita Sagrada vs. Dr. Wagner Jr.
There’s actually a fair amount of backstory with this particular match. See, last season, former in-ring competitor, Famous B, decided to reinvent himself as a manager, promising his potential clients that they can become famous just by dialing 423-GET-FAME. That’s 423-GET-FAME. No joke, if you actually dial that number, you do actually hear a voicemail message from Famous B himself. Anywho, for his first client, Famous B decided to reach out to the mighty midget, Mascarita Sagrada, promising to make him famous. However, when Mascarita failed to win any matches under B’s management, B turned on his diminutive client and later, at Ultima Lucha Dos, revealed his new client, the legendary luchador from Mexico, Dr. Wagner Jr.
Lucha Underground’s ring announcer, the beautiful Melissa Santos, attempts to introduce Dr. Wagner, but Famous B cuts her off so he can do it himself. We also get the added treat of seeing Famous B’s assistant, Beautiful Brenda, dressed as Dr. Wagner’s “nurse.” To borrow a phrase coined by a certain pair of Warner brothers: HELLOOOOO NURSE!!!
The match itself was short but sweet, and no, that’s not crack at Mascarita’s height. One thing I’ve always found entertaining about the little guy is that, despite his size, he always tries to wrestle like a larger man, often ending in humorous results. Such is the case here when Mascarita wraps his arms around Dr. Wagner’s waist and tries to slam him, but only manages to mildly irritate his opponent. For the most part, the match was all Dr. Wagner. Marcarita did manage to get some offense in, actually using the size-difference between the two to his advantage, but Wagner recovers and lays the little guy down for the 1-2-3 Winner: Dr. Wagner Jr.
Before we move on, I just want to take a moment to say how awesome Famous B is, especially now that he's started wearing that stethoscope and sarcastically using it to check on Wagner's opponents after matches. The man is a delight any time he shows up on camera.
Next, we flash back to 1,000 years ago in what appears to be an ancient Aztec village. We briefly saw this same village last season in a flashback involving Aerostar. This time however, the leader of the tribe is dying. As he tells his young daughter goodbye, he gives her an amulet said to make her immortal once she comes of age and also says that she must lead the fight in the war that’s to come.
From there, we transition to the night of Ultima Lucha Dos once again and we see Captain Vasquez suspending Cortez Castro for arresting Dario Cueto without her say-so, the tone in her voice making it clear that, whatever’s going on, it’s personal for her. We also learn that Captain Vasquez is in possession of half of the amulet from the previous flashback, meaning she was the little girl we saw receive it, or is she?
Match #2: Argenis vs. Mil Muertes
There’s really not much to say about this match. Like the last one, it was pretty short and ultimately only served to remind everyone of the sheer dominance of Mil Muertes. Argenis never stood a chance
Winner: Mil Muertes
After the match, as Catrina, who if I may say so, looks incredible in that skin-tight cat-suit, delivers the customary “lick of death” to Mil’s vanquished opponent, Prince Puma shows up and attacks Mil from behind. Puma and Mil brawl for a while but Catrina holds Mil back as the two bitter rivals stare each other down.
Next, we go to Dario Cueto’s office. This time, he’s met by Joey Ryan, who claims he’s there as a friend and reveals to Dario to that he’s a cop. See, Joey may be gross, but he’s not stupid. He knows that something bad is coming and that Dario is apparently the key to it all. When whatever it is gets here, Joey wants to be on the winning side, and in his mind, that side is Dario’s. So, Joey agrees to do everything he can to keep Dario out of jail and off the LAPD’s radar. He even reveals that Castro is also an undercover cop. Before leaving, Joey demands payment for his services claiming he has child support to pay. There’s a thought for you, a guy who looks like the result of a transporter accident between Tom Selleck and Freddie Mercury who bathes in an ocean of baby oil every morning and is almost never seen without a lollipop in his mouth that I have on good authority has been in someone’s ass, has reproduced. Reluctantly, Dario agrees and gives Joey his money.
As if to provide contrast to the previous scene, Castro walks into Vasquez’s office following his month long suspension. He says that he’s finally decided that he’s going to see this through to the end, and Vasquez says that it’s time for him to return to the temple. And speaking of, it’s time for us to do the same for tonight’s main event.
Main Event: Killshot vs. Marty “The Moth” Martinez vs. Killshot: Weapons of Mass Destruction Match
You may have noticed that so far, this episode has been more story-focused, with only brief time spent on the matches. Well, prepare for that all to change, because this match was long and brutal. True to the name of the match, the Temple has been dressed up to look like a combat zone. Marty comes out first dressed in army gear, but a vengeful killshot interrupts his entrance by attacking from behind. This was a hell of a match. Had it taken place last season this match would easily have been a candidate for my top ten list. The brutality of the match: spot on. From bell to bell this match was filled with chair shots, ladder shots, table shots and even nut shots. These two warriors fought in the crowd, in the ring, on the floor and everywhere in between. Right from the get go, Marty got busted open, and true to the sick nature of his character, the more he bled, the more deadly and deranged he became. The actual wrestling: flawless. Despite the brutal and more hardcore nature of this match, both Marty and Killshot are great athletes and this match allowed their talents to shine through. The story: expertly told. Marty and Killshot played their roles to a T. Killshot played the vengeful soldier who wanted Marty dead, but is still a hero at the end of the day. Marty played the insane heel whose depravity knew no boundaries and would even resort to taking hostages like poor Melissa Santos. The end of the match would see both Marty and Killshot on top of a twenty-foot ladder. First, Marty’s sister Mariposa, who tried to get involved got sent through a table, and Marty soon followed her, but not before Killshot defiantly ripped the dog-tags off Marty’s neck, throwing him from the ladder and landing the pinfall
Winner: Killshot
Our final segment of the night brings us to the locker room where Mil Muertes is throwing a temper tantrum over Prince Puma. Catrina appears and tells Mil to be patient, after all, she’s waited for thousands of years to get what she wants. And the show draws to a close with the revelation that Catrina is in possession of the other half of the amulet.
Awards: Just so you guys know, I am keeping a running tally of who gets the most awards. By the end of the season, we will be naming the Wes’s Blogs & Reviews Lucha Underground MVP.
Match of the Night: Well, given that it’s only competition is a couple of short squash matches, Killshot vs. Marty the Moth sort of wins by default. However, I feel that even if this was not the case, this match still would have come out on top because this was right up my alley. I’m a big fan of bloody and violent hardcore weapons matches, and this match felt like it came straight out of ECW, but more than that it was also the culmination of a great story between two great characters. Marty is one of the best and most entertaining heels in Lucha Underground and he brought his a-game to this fight. Killshot also got to shine by playing a very atypical, yet believable baby-face character. Let me tell you what I’m talking about. Realistically, when you’ve had something precious to you stolen by a deranged lunatic, you’re going to want to tear that mother*cker apart. What works here is that Killshot still behaved realistically (I.E. resorting to dirty tactics like attacking from behind and going for the balls) while remaining the clear cut good guy in this match. All in all, this was a match worthy of Ultima Lucha and I hope to see a lot more from both of these guys this season.
Spot of the Night: While there was no shortage of impressive spots in the Marty/Killshot match, I have to give to Marty’s power bomb to the outside that put Killshot through two tables at once. Even Matt Striker and Vampiro pronounced Killshot dead after that one.
Segment of the Night: Once again, our segment of the night goes to a Dario’s office segment. What I failed to mention in the main body of the review is that this segment is actually a flashback to Dario returning to the office last week after his time in prison. I really like how he walks around the office when he first gets back and takes time to admire the red bull statue that he keeps on his desk, which fans will remember was also the weapon that Dario’s brother Matanza used to murder their abusive mother. Then when Joey comes in, things start getting fun. Joey Ryan is so unapologetically sleazy and underhanded that you can’t help but find him endearing. Final Thoughts: This episode gave us one hell of a match obviously, but more than that, it also progressed the story in a major way. Many of the mysteries of the show were answered, but as a result, many more questions were raised. Is captain Vasquez really the young girl we saw in the flashback a thousand years ago and is that why her crusade against Cueto and the ones behind him is so personal, or was it Catrina and was she corrupted over time by the power of the amulet. All I know is, I can’t wait to find out.