Tenchi Muyo! Tenchi Universe Episode 12: Time and Space Adventures Part 2
Welcome back to Tenchi and oh sweet Jesus did this episode go in a much different direction than I thought it would. Hold on to your butts, people, this one’s going to get weird.
Last time, Washu invented a machine that could alter reality any way she saw fit because Washu is a mad scientist and that’s what mad scientists do. Ryoko and the others snuck into her lab later that night and screwed around with the machine, because they’re all dumb like that. Naturally, the machine malfunctioned and our heroes were all bounced around the multi-verse like this were some game of inter-dimensional tennis. Last time, the gang found themselves in ancient Japan, having memories of always having lived in that reality. However, Washu deleted that reality as part of her attempt to put things right, and so our heroes were sent sailing through the multi-verse once again.
We open with Ayeka’s two cylindrical wooden robot servants recapping the events of the last episode and telling the audience that they’ll be charged admission after the show. These robots must be distant relatives of Bender from Futurama.
We open with Kiyone on a boat sailing for a small, quiet fishing town. Through her film noir style narration, we learn that the Kiyone of this reality has quit the police force to find a place where she can live quietly and peacefully. She happens upon a noodle restaurant run by a mustachioed Tenchi. Tenchi with a mustache: you have no idea how much I wish that was the height of surreality for this episode. Anywho, Tenchi, who’s actually acting a bit more like Nobuyuki in this scene but thankfully in the warm and friendly way and not the perverted way, and Ayeka, who runs a diner across the street along with Sasami, give Kiyone a warm greeting and take a moment to get to know one another. When Ayeka learns that Kiyone plans to settle down in this town, she offers her a job at her diner, which Kiyone accepts.
Later we see the Masaki family, along with Ryoko, drinking and having a good time at Ayeka’s diner after a hard day’s work. And of course, no matter the Universe, Ryoko ad Ayeka love fighting over Tenchi almost as much as they hate one another, only this time we have the added humor of Ryoko being drunk off her ass.
Some time passes and Kiyone has adjusted well to her new life, but all good things must come to an end as Mihoshi has finally tracked her down. Since Mihoshi is physically incapable of taking any sort of hint, Mihoshi plans to get a job at Ayeka’s diner as well. Realizing that her peace has been ruined, Kiyone runs for her life.
Now at this point you all may be asking “Wes, this seems fairly tame so far, you promised us something weird and crazy.” Well my friends, be careful what you wish for, because next we see Washu deleting this reality like last episode and our heroes find themselves in yet another world, and it is here, where things start to get nuts.
In this reality, Tenchi, Ryoko and Ayeka are all high school students, and of course, Ayeka and Ryoko continue their multi-versal blood feud over the right to court Tenchi. As the two fight, we get a glimpse of Sasami standing in a tree dressed like Sailor Moon.
Elsewhere we learn that Kiyone and Mihoshi are not police officers in this version of reality but rather, high school teachers. Allow me to repeat that sh*t just to assure everyone that you did indeed read that correctly. Mihoshi, a woman with an intelligence quotient so low that that she could be bested in a spelling bee by a caveman with no concept of written language, a woman who thinks of personal space as more of a suggestion than anything else, is responsible for molding the minds young teenagers. Ladies, gentlemen and others, we are nearly half-way through this series as I’ve watched it I have seen an elderly Japanese man take down an ED-209 with a stick, a bunny rabbit that can turn into a spaceship and a pink-haired mad scientist who invented an honest to god hell mouth, and yet it is this, this, that has finally robbed me of my ability to suspend my disbelief. Alternate reality nothing. There is no way, in any version of reality, that it would ever be believable that Mihoshi would be put in charge of children. And believe it or not, this crazy train hasn’t even left the station yet!
Anywho, Mihoshi teaches a class and it goes about as well as can be expected, with Mihoshi on the verge of falling asleep because she finds the curriculum so boring. While everyone in the class struggles to stay awake, Ayeka notices that Ryoko has snuck a bottle of Sake into class. Y’know, I won’t pretend that everyone I went to high school with had the strongest moral fiber, but I don’t think I ever met anyone who would be so bold as to actually sneak alcoholic beverages into class. Ayeka tries to rat Ryoko out to Mihoshi but because Mihoshi is well, Mihoshi, she actually accepts when Ryoko offers to share the Sake with her. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go bang my head against a wall for twenty minutes while shouting “HOW HAS THIS IDIOT NOT BEEN FIRED YET” at the top of my lungs.
Meanwhile, Tenchi’s in the courtyard playing baseball with some other boys and goes into the woods looking for a fowl ball. It’s there that he runs into Ryo-Ohki and subsequently, Sasami who thanks Tenchi for finding Ryo-Ohki for her. As Tenchi walks away, Sasami appears to have developed a crush on Tenchi. Also, Ryo-Ohki can talk in this reality. Given the way the last anime I watched that featured magical girls and a talking bunny-cat turned out, there is no possible way that this can end well.
Later that day, when school is let out, Sasami watches Tenchi walk home like the stalker she is in this reality. Predictably, Tenchi is accosted by Ryoko and Ayeka on his way home and the two start fighting over him as the entire school watches. Sasami sees Tenchi in the middle of Ryoko and Ayeka’s crossfire and decides that this is a job for her magical girl alter ego: Pretty Sammy. And so, with the battle cry of “Sammy Davis Broiler Chicken”… I couldn’t add anything to that if I tried … Sasami activates her Sailor Moon-esque transformation into Pretty Sammy, complete with an up-skirt shot of an underage girl, thank you very much Japan.
Sasami tries to use her magic to make Ayeka and Ryoko become friends. While I personally would think Sasami would have an easier time teaching a horse to play the spoons, shock of all shocks, Pretty Sammy’s magic actually works. In fact, it works a little too well, as Ryoko and Ayeka magically develop romantic feelings towards each other, much to the shock of all who witness this event, myself included. Also, I should mention that the entire time Ryoko and Ayeka express their feelings for one another, they are actually sitting on poor Tenchi. Mihoshi says that everyone should “hold onto your sanity.” Mihoshi, dear, I am watching two Japanese schoolgirls who have just been magically brainwashed into a lesbian relationship making out while sitting on some poor kid’s back, sanity, if it was ever here to begin with, left a long time ago. And so our episode ends with Pretty Sammy patting herself on the back for a job well done. Yes, Sasami, be proud that you just brainwashed two people to act against their will, you’re a real hero.
Wow… just, wow. This episode was something else. While the Kiyone story at the beginning was fun, the real draw is the whole Pretty Sammy thing, which is hilarious as it is insane and uncomfortable. The surreal image of Ayeka and Ryoko kissing by itself is enough to make one’s head explode. I’ll admit, the forced lesbian romance and the up skirt shot of Sasami did make me cringe, but if you can get past that you’ll find that the comedy in the rest of the episode is fun and surreal enough to carry it through. Besides, that panty shot, while still creepy, exists more to parody shows like Sailor Moon than it does to sexualize Sasami anyway. Overall, I found that this episode took much better advantage of the alternate reality premise than the previous one and ultimately ended up far more memorable and fun.