Street Fighter X G.I. Joe #3 Review
Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to Street Fighter X G.I. Joe, the crossover mini-series about a fighting tournament that laughs in the face of ECW hardcore no-holds-barred Texas death matches for having too many rules. Anywho, the last issue saw the conclusion of the eight finals of the tournament in which Snake Eyes defeated The Crimson Viper, Rufus got an upset victory over the Baroness, Hakan defied the laws of physics and common sense by surviving a barrage of machine-gun fire from Roadblock, Jinx got a surprising win over Ryu, Guile got a decisive victory over Gung-Ho, Chun-Li was caught off guard by Zartan’s Dan Hibiki disguise, Storm Shadow defeated Croc Hunter and finally, M. Bison beat poor Cammy within an inch of her life thanks to his new and improved psycho drive device. And so, this ridiculous tournament that allows the use of firearms and yet has yet to see a single fatality continues.
Our first match is between Snake Eyes, a skilled ninja one of the most iconic G.I. Joe characters, and Rufus, my least favorite character in the whole of the Street Fighter franchise. I’ll go into why later. For now, all you really need to know about Rufus is that he’s a fat moron who never shuts up who thinks he’s the greatest martial artist in all of America. At first the fight is all Snake Eyes, who’s using his ninja skills to dodge every one of Rufus’s attacks, despite Rufus’s incredible speed for a man of his girth. However, utilizing some fighting tactics that are more confusing than actually effective, Snake Eyes is inexplicably brought to his knees and the match is called in favor of Rufus. Even Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes’ nemesis and blood brother looks ashamed of what just went down.
Our next pits Jinx, a female ninja trained in the same form of martial arts as Snake Eyes and Hakan. Hakan, unlike Rufus, is a character introduced in Street Fighter IV whom I actually like. A Turkish wrestler Hakan employs one of the more unique, and unsettling, fighting strategies in the entire game. That strategy being the act of slathering drum after drum of cooking oil all over his large body until nobody dare touch him. Jinx, who’s being mentored by Ryu for reasons that have not been explained within the comic, isn’t concerned, but soon learns that Hakan is never to be underestimated. Worse yet, Jinx seems to be exhibiting signs of the Satsui No Hado, a mystical force from the world of Street Fighter that grants the user immense powers at the cost of their humanity. Ryu is almost ready to intervene, But Jinx collects herself and, using Hakan’s size and strength against him, pulls out the win.
The next match pits Zartan, Cobra’s resident master of disguise against Guile, soldier and expert martial artist. Zartan, realizing that this tournament has fewer rules than a game of Calvinball, drops the pretense entirely, pulls out a gun and tries to shoot Guile in the head. Guile, dodges the bullet and knocks Zartan down with a kick to the face. Desperate, Zartan transforms into Cammy just long enough to distract Guile and land a swift kick to the buttons under his control stick. Guile may be tough, but a blow to the coin purse is enough man and he goes down. Zartan, signaling for the end, calls for Croc Master to throw his bet gator into the ring. However, Guile not done yet, and, in a moment that gives the famous image of Mike Haggar piledriving a bull shark a run for its money, Guile leaps into the air and lands a flying back breaker on a massive alligator. And then, as if to put an exclamation mark at the end of that glorious sentence, Guile finishes off Zartan with his trademark sonic boom.
Our final match of the quarter finals pits Storm Shadow against M. Bison, whose powers have been amplified ten-fold by the psycho device Destro built for him. Strom Shadow is unafraid but it scarcely seems to matter as Bison’s power is simply too much, even for a ninja of his skill. Bison offers Storm Shadow mercy if he surrenders and agrees to join Bison’s forces. Storm Shadow agrees, but this is revealed to be a ruse to get Bison to let his guard down. As soon as Bison turns his back, some well placed throwing stars from Storm Shadow cause the psycho drive to short out. However, the comic ends with Destro, reassuring his allies that he has a back up plan in place for this.
What Works: In true Street Fighter tradition, the fights are a lot of fun to watch and exhibit some unique fighting styles. Guile’s match in particular was the highlight for me, but that may be only because Guile is one of my favorite characters.
What Doesn’t: While this isn’t a mini-series that doesn’t take itself terribly seriously, there are some story issues that are starting to bug me. See, the first issue of this comic started well after the first round was already complete, and so already, we’re thrown into the action with little to no setup. It didn’t bother me at first, but the more I read the more I’m left to ponder questions like “how did this tournament come about,” “what is the connection between Ryu and Jinx,” or “Why are Bison and Destro working together.” Without providing this seemingly necessary backstory, the reader can be made to feel lost.
Also, I need to address my biggest problem with the comic, Rufus. I can’t stand Rufus. While not every Street Fighter character is memorable, I find nearly all of them to have their own unique charm. The exception to this is Rufus. Rufus has never amounted to more than an irritating character who constantly brags about how great he is. Now, at first glance, you’d think the joke would be one similar to Dan Hibiki in that he’s overly boastful but is, in reality, a pathetic loser. However, as one can clearly see, he’s actually an incredibly competent fighter, which makes his boastfulness all the more grating. Also, Rufus seems to have started a trend in Capcom games that I do not care for, that of the disgustingly overweight character, a trend that reached the peak of ridiculousness when the character of Birdie was changed from muscular and intimidating to an overweight slob, clearly drawing influence from Rufus. I may very well be in the minority here, but I hate Rufus, and the fact that he beats Snake-Eyes in this tournament is a huge misstep on the part of the writers. Sure, Ryu, the most recognizable Street Fighter character was knocked out of the tournament in the first issue, but it was made clear that he lost to a worthy opponent in Jinx. By having Snake-Eyes lose to Rufus, we’re making an iconic G.I. Joe character look bad and unbalancing the final bracket in favor of Street Fighter, thus making Street Fighter look better than G.I. Joe. In any crossover, when one hero is made to look better than the other, one runs the risk of alienating some of your readers. Overall: 3/5
I’m torn on how I feel about this comic. On one hand, it’s a lot of fun, but on the other, the story is confusing and feels incomplete and hindered by odd choices for the story’s direction.